robotfuckface

Yeah. She broke up with me again. She had been lying to me for months about pretty much everything. She said she was sorry. I forgave her for everything, but she's been confessing the truth to everyone now, so her life is kind of exploding. It serms i am a complication she could eliminate, and so here i am.

I havent gotten out of bed yet, except to write a reeeeeally depressing song. Now im back in bed writing this on my iphone cause the internet here doesnt work. Im so sick of crying. Im hungover with it. I wish i could be angry at her, but all i am is sad and worried. She has a lot of hard times coming up and i wish i could be there for here. I know this sounds pathetic, but i love her so much.

I know i should be distracting myself. I know i shouldnt be waiting for her to call. I erased allher contact info so that i couldn't text or call her. I hid the shirt she left here for me in a drawer after smelling it one last time. I have her email, but im not letting myself send anything. The awful part is that she says she's still in love with me, that i treat her amazingly, and that i make her happy. Then she tells me that im probably not good for her and she wants to end.

All the people down there endlessly put poison in her ear about me. Her cousins, her friends, her (ex)bf. And she listens. I dont suppose theres much i can do to compete with that.

All i know is i miss her so much that i'm sick. I'm hoping she'll miss me too, enough to call me. I hate not being able to talk to her. If she wanted me back right now, id say yes in a heartbeat. Im totally fucked.

Sorry to go on and on. Im like a cd on repeat 1. This is all im capable of communicating right now. Thanks for listening, kids.