robotfuckface

nothing in the world is more frustrating than watching some amazing girl you'd walk into traffic just to put your arms around being treated like crap by the imbecile that doesn't even realize that he must have won some sort of cosmic raffle prize to even have her talk to him. this is especially the case when said girl is too far away for you to just go and rescue her from this ungrateful, cruel, idiotic troll. when all you want to do is storm into her house, give him a slap or two (or fifty) and take her by her delicate wrist and run away slow motion like a music video, how are you supposed to play world of warcraft and know that somewhere far away he's probably making her cry at this very moment?

you know, hypothetically speaking.

and further hypothetically, when she's crying on the phone because of all the vicious attacks on something as fundamental and as undeniable as how beautiful she is, how in the world can you not be expected to declare war on such hideous lies? at that point, i mean really, it's less about this amazing girl and more about a battle for Truth, right? how can you just sit there? you can't. but for all of ten million reasons, or perhaps really just one, you can't steal your own car and go make things right. nope. so you sit here and write a blog that you really hope won't make her angry to read and seethe with plans and schemes that hold as much water as a wiffle ball. you listen to music that reminds you of how you feel about her and write a ridiculous tirade that almost no one will read and you breathe deep and do your best to slow your breathing. and you wait. you wait and wait and want and wait cause maybe when she comes back online some ridiculous analogy that doesn't even work or some dumb joke or some slice of something witty will make her smile, even if for one second. cause when you boil away all the selfish need you're feeling, you really come to realize that your one drive that you've been feeling lately is to make this girl happy. and you further realize, you can't really be happy if she isn't, can you? think about it.

not a chance.

you hypothetically hope this rant won't upset this hypothetical her and that if anything it will show her that even though some hypothetical asshole doesn't appreciate her, you're sitting here with a hypothetically burning in your hypothetical chest, and if you know anything about thermodynamics, and i know you do, this heat must go somewhere. this rant is that heat.

you know. hypothetically.