robotfuckface

i have almost no internet. every now and then my wireless thingy gives me a breath of it, but... not enough for chat... or any complex site... mostly i can aim.

and for some fucking reason the aim app on my phone is being a whore.


yeah. so i'm not dead. i'm biting the bullet soon and buying internet. until then, i feel like i'm...
Read More

i've decided i need to be on medication again.

for a long time i've told myself that i'm ok and that i can out-think my sickness. i am finally ready to accept that that simply isn't true. it's permeated and tainted every aspect of my life, worst of all being my new relationship. last night was horrible and sorry isn't good enough anymore. so i...
Read More

i hate when i hurt you.

i hate that i might not be good for you.

i hate that you're afraid of me.





i love you so much.

i got an apartment! well, a room in an apartment, but it's a gorgeous apartment. huge blue and red kitchen. big living room. cute little dining room. high ceilings and hardwood floors. big basement with a washer and dryer. oh. and my room? reaaally big for 400 a month.

did i mention that includes utilities? well it does, so eat me. eat me like a...
Read More

got the best gift for her last night. oh my god she's going to love it.

i can't wait for her to come visit. i don't know how i'm going to last to february.

we both downloaded knocking video, so we can stream videos with our iphones. i took her on a tour of the town i work in. it was almost like we were...
Read More

hang from my neck
till that final kick
that ends this fucking nightmare

i'd drag you all down if i could
none of this your fault of course
but i'm terrible with lonely

hang from my fucking neck
cause what else am i good for?
what else can i do?

i. am so. retarded. for. this. girl.

watch you watch me watching you
i know that look
we've been here a thousand times before

just one more time
we'll pick up the pieces with shaking hands
share a little smile
and wish we'd never met

check your phone a million times
she might have called she might have called
lie and say that you don't mind
she hasn't called she hasn't called
hold your breath and count to ten
what if she called what if she calls
hold your breath and count again
why won't she call why won't she call
fight the urge to fall asleep
in case she...
Read More

you think you know me?
pathetic.
you think you own me?
forget it.
you think there's mercy in this twisted, vicious thing?

i will set this house on fire
and my only real desire
is to smash the sad charade to which you cling.

i've been known to stomp on broken fingers.

excellent day so far.

there weren't enough kids at work so i got to leave at ten am, and seeing as how i completely loathe my job, i all but tap danced out of the fucking place. just as i walked in, the gfriend texted me and we got to talk/text most of the morning, which is all i ever want to do these days...
Read More

bleeding
burning
pick your nonsense symbols
anything that causes one
to run in frantic circles

drunk, blind, and terrified
running down a crowded street
with a hungry chainsaw