Alright this is blog is really just for me - not expecting a response - but need to vent a little.
I am in a weird mood lately - full of self doubt, and seriously lack self esteem... everything is going well with my life, still have a job, about to buy a house and so on - but I wake up and I am unhappy, could be just that O am letting myself get run down a little, I had to quit the gym as I couldn't afford it, and not really getting enough sleep, but really not liking myself at the moment.
Work wise - I like my job and what i do, but I don't like any of my work at the moment, and I have started to not care about it - I have lost passion in the design and the final output, it has come down to what will the client accept and pay for, rather than am I happy with the outcome (probably because the routes and ideas I like never get chosen)... but it makes it had to get motivated. I try and get my illustrations and work out there, but have had so many rejections - it is hard to keep plugging away at what was once my dream. I think that is it really, I used to have so much confidence and passion in my work and now - I don't give a fuck... which makes it hard to get motivated. I have really considered chucking it all in and doing something else, but can't think of anything I could do. I look around me and see all these successful, people who just work in corporate jobs, with no real talents - and they all seem happy and content...
Anyway I will get over it - just having a bit of a blue week - as I said not looking for sympathy or compliments - but this is really the only place I can vent properly.... love you all.
I am in a weird mood lately - full of self doubt, and seriously lack self esteem... everything is going well with my life, still have a job, about to buy a house and so on - but I wake up and I am unhappy, could be just that O am letting myself get run down a little, I had to quit the gym as I couldn't afford it, and not really getting enough sleep, but really not liking myself at the moment.
Work wise - I like my job and what i do, but I don't like any of my work at the moment, and I have started to not care about it - I have lost passion in the design and the final output, it has come down to what will the client accept and pay for, rather than am I happy with the outcome (probably because the routes and ideas I like never get chosen)... but it makes it had to get motivated. I try and get my illustrations and work out there, but have had so many rejections - it is hard to keep plugging away at what was once my dream. I think that is it really, I used to have so much confidence and passion in my work and now - I don't give a fuck... which makes it hard to get motivated. I have really considered chucking it all in and doing something else, but can't think of anything I could do. I look around me and see all these successful, people who just work in corporate jobs, with no real talents - and they all seem happy and content...
Anyway I will get over it - just having a bit of a blue week - as I said not looking for sympathy or compliments - but this is really the only place I can vent properly.... love you all.
merlowe:
Well thank you for the links!! 