I have been here since September, and this is one of the unique situations I have been in. This site was created by women, essentially FOR women- a sorority of models who share a mutual commitment to a new culture, and standard of beauty. One senses the sisterhood in the brief comments that go back and forth. And then, there's the members. I often feel like an interloper, although I know I have a part to play in the mysterious "system" that turns some models pink, and makes others languish. So I put in my two cents, make my comments on sets and blogs, and p.m. the people who have become wonderful friends to me.
I cannot imagine the comments and messages models get, both in terms of sheer volume and in terms of content. I have heard some horror stories of the kinds of things men say. No doubt, you often have to apply the U.S. Supreme Court standard of what is "obscene", which is "I know it when I see it", and no one should have to endure obscenities. But there are others of us who simply don't know how to rightly communicate with women! I can only speak in the U.S. context. American culture has raised generations of men who have been taught to hide their feelings at all costs, that winning is all that matters, that tenderness is a weakness, and that the only place they can be vulnerable is sexual intercourse.
When men such as this (and I am one of them) come to a place like this, we are likely to say some inappropriate things. Despite our best intentions, we simply are lacking in the skills to put our thoughts and feelings in the right way. And knowing how busy, put upon, and over-worked you dear ladies already are, I beseech you on behalf of myself and my fellow men to seize this teachable moment, and help us become better communicators, as well as better men.
I pray for the success of feminism, precisely, because I am a man. I know that, when women have full equality, and the full flowering of the wonder that they truly are, we will ALL be free to be human, to feel, to speak, and to heal rather than hurt each other.
