Sorry for the lull. Since the flaming kitchen escapade (see my earlier blog) Iāve been forced back out of the road of homeless wandering. It has its ups and downs, Iām fairly used to it by now. But this time it came with a nasty surprise. Two weeks ago I became suicidal.
So many of my plans just evaporated in a flash and I was left alone in a very black hole of the aftermath. Some kind friends checked me into a hospital and I spent two weeks in intensive psychotherapy. Now Iām out, still on the road, but checking into another group home in Pennsylvania soon. But itās only a partial reprieve from my angst.
Mid November is set for me to have life saving open heart surgery. I wonāt lie. Drinking and drugging from a very young age trying to outrun my childhood abuse from 1958 until I sought professional help in 2004 to kick the hard street drugs has left a terrible wake of destruction in my body. I have an upper aortic aneurysm that is the size of a baseball, and literally could burst any moment. The lower chambers of my heart are about 30% dead and the main mitral valve is shot through with holes from clots of an earlier heart attack. A few weeks ago I turned 70, and honestly I never thought Iād ever live this long. In fact, if anyone would have told that scared little kid back then when I started my road of self destruction that Iād spend my 70th birthday in a psych ward I would have said you were flat out crazy yourself!
So, if I survive the surgery ~ itās a 50/50 crapshoot ~ Iāll still be 70 but with an even younger healthier body and mind, and with more eagerness than ever to admire all the magnificent charms of the Ladies of SG. Cheers š
...oh, sidebar: Iāll be in recovery and rehabilitation hospice care for between 1-2 months afterward, so yeah, there will be another lull. But I will await the heart pumping thrills when I get back on here after that. Iāll be going offline sometime in early November for some pre-op procedures. Love yāall!
