riz

This up and down stuff is bull shit. Why can't I just stay happy and strong right now?

Things that make me feel like utter shit:
- People who say "you're going to be fine/ok/etc"

Things that make me feel better:
- my parents talking about going to the casino while I'm at the doctor wondering if I'll take a cab home
- Nathan calling dibs on my ottoman if it's my time to go.


I'm sure it's nothing and I know I'll live and yada yada yada, but I really just want to know what the fuck it is and how much it's going to fuck up my current plans so I can deal with it.

I just want to go home, having a glass of wine, watch a sad movie and cry all this shitty, shitty weakness out of me, because it just doesn't feel right at all. I only wish that Pat was going to be there, because I really could use someone to hold me right now.

Riz