riversky

Have you ever had one of those moments, where you feel the best, most impulsive thing to do, is to cut yourself off from everyone (get rid of all your profiles/messengers etc.) I call those my mental melt down moments. I had one recently, hence why this profile along with my Facebook profile look sort of empty and my Blogs are empty- thank gosh I write everything on my iPhone and then publish it, in case say I do have another "moment" I have everything stored as a backup My moments typically occur if something of substantial negativity occur such as a break up, death, lose of job; I think you get where I'm coming from.You may be wondering what kind of event occured to make me have a melt down, well I finally ended it with my BF! I was unhappy for weeks, but the thought of ending it and really hurting him, at the time was none exsistent. I now believe had I ended it earlier it might have been the smartest thing to do.It boiled down to these questions that I asked myself on Sunday;

-> Why am I avoiding him?
-> Am I physically and sexually attracted to him?
-> How come he feels more like my girl friends, who I can shop with,
then my BF?

All those questions and the answers I came up with, I came to the conclusion this past Sunday, that this is turning more into a friendship and one I hold very dear to me (even though he said he can't handle that) but it was time to end it. It's kind of odd I had the meltdown and yet it was me who ended it....very strange. I have no regrets about ending it, none whatsoever. Now I just have to adjust to no more texts/phone calls from him, which were laced with love and caring. Time heals all, I look at it as a bandaid, it hurts when you first rip it off but the pain slowly goes away. Which I believe it will doe him, soon enough......I hope :S