rivera

There's Always a Girl.

Your feet sink into the sand as the waves pull themselves away, back into the ocean from whence they came. The sky is overcast. A cool breeze is blowing. The scent of the salty air, the sounds of sea gulls somewhere near, all so calming. The beach is empty, you stand alone, embracing the peace your solitude offers. The sun is setting and with the overcast sky, the clouds have turned a bright shade of orange and pink, making the heavens look warm, comforting, and inviting.

But something's wrong.

The waves aren't coming back in. They're being swept out to sea, farther and farther away. The sea gulls stop their songs. Did they disappear? You take a step forward, the sand around your feet begins to dry. Your toes feel chafed as you take another step. Then you hear it. A roar. It builds softly, then overwhelms. What's going on? You stare out into the expansive horizon where the ocean once was. Now you see. The ocean is coming back, all at once. You turn to run, you feel the salt spray of the tidal wave. Run faster.

The wind begins to blow fiercer than before. You're panicking. Run faster. Can you climb that tree before the wave hits? Too late.

You feel it slam into your back. Something snaps, was that a bone? The force has knocked the breath out of you. You can't breathe. Gasp for air, water enters instead. You're dieing. This can't be happening, not again.

You sit up with a jolt, still gasping for air. You're coughing. The morning is several hours away. It's dark out. You breathe in heavily, try and calm down. It's been a while since you've had this dream.

"Are you ok?" She sounds concerned. Wouldn't you be?

"Yea." You turn to look at her. The street lights coming in through the blinds are enough to light her features. The perfect contours of her body are exposed. She seems so delicate. You want to protect her. "Just a bad dream. I'm fine."

She sees through your fake smile, knowing it's just there to try and reassure her.

"You don't sleep very well do you?" She sits up in the bed and pulls the covers over her. You turn away.

"No." You sigh "Not really."

There's a silence in the room. The sound of the overhanging ceiling fan is starting to become annoying.

"So what's Her name?"

"Huh?"

"You know, Her name?"

"Heh, what are you talking about?" You turn back to face her.

"The woman you're in Love with." She's caught you off guard.

"What the FUCK makes you think I'm in love with anyone?" Shit. You didn't mean that to sound so harsh, but she just smiles. She knows she's struck a nerve, and she feeds off the control.

"I know because of the way you fucked me last night." Her smile begins to tease, you have to give it to her, she's gorgeous.

"Ok, I'll bite. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You're genuinely curious. Where is she going with this?

"That's just it, you didn't just fuck me. You were making Love to me." She's still smiling, knowing more about you than you wanted her to.

"Heh. There's a difference?"

"Yup!" She winks at you, her blue eyes toying with yours. "It was afterward, when we were laying together. The way you held me in your arms, caressed my body ever so gently, Lovingly. Most guys aren't like that. Especially not with a girl they just met hours before in some sleazy Oceanside bar."

Oceanside. The city by the sea. That's where you met this girl. It's the first little town right outside the base, right on the beach. There isn't much to the place either. Ask any Marine about it, they'll tell you the town's real name is Oceanslime. The Dirty O. Nothing but shady car dealerships, hoping to scam off some poor dumb jarhead. Check cashing places on every other corner. Loan sharks. Seedy motels. Barber shops, all offering military discounts. Military surplus stores, selling the high end gear that the Corps is too cheap to issue you. The architecture is a mixture of the run down to the gaudiness of un-inspired art-deco. Decadence in disguise. Everywhere you look, you see shaved heads in Walmart bought civilian attire. New little Marines, straight out of the School of Infantry, too stupid to realize that there are better places to hang out than just outside base.

But there's more under the surface. It's the look on every face local to the area. You can't quite place it, but it's there. The look of someone trapped under the shadow of a behemoth's burden, searching for a way out. Looking for an escape. For salvation.

This was Sarah. You met her in one of the bars of Oceanside.

"Heh, well... I'm not telling you Her name." You stare into her eyes, trying to check if she truly can see straight through you.

"I knew it." She's still smiling, teasing.

"Heh, so what, are you getting off on this?" You look at her quizically.

"Maybe."

"Oh really?" You smile back at her and reach for her neck, pulling her close to you. A kiss.

She moans and whispers a yes.

You pull away. She reaches out toward you. "Maybe I'm just a good lover, ever think of that?"

"Oh yea, trust me on that, you're good." She runs her hand over her thighs, "but a girl can tell when a guy is in love with someone, especially when its someone else."

You're confused. She gazes at you and just smiles. Fuck it. You pull her close and make love to Her one last time. Not to Sarah, but to Her.

Hours go by.

You awaken, alone again. Sarah left while you were sleeping, saving the both of you an awkward farewell. You stare up and listen as the ceiling fan whirs its annoying way around. You're thinking of Her again. Then you close your eyes, and try to go back to sleep.

********************

Several weeks later, you'll be laying in the bottom bunk of one of the racks at the Lower Base Camp squad bay in the Sierra Nevada mountain range where your Battalion has been conducting its cold weather training. You'll be reading a book about the Greco-Persian wars. The rest of the platoon will be smoking and joking, chastizing and laughing as they shoot the shit. It'll be the day before you head back to the warm southern California base you've all been used to. Hey old man, one of them will say, when was the last time you got laid. You'll turn a page in your book and pretend to ignore. Then you'll say it was a few weeks ago, when we had that four day weekend. Oh yea? Where'd you meet her? Oceanside. Hah! Oceanslime?! You'll ignore the rest of the platoon as they chime in with their own fabricated stories of sexual misadventures, all more ludricrous than the last, all hoping to impress the boys around them.

You'll continue reading your book, then, you'll pause for a moment and think of Sarah. You'll silently thank her, and hope she finds her way out.

*******************

Back in Oceanside, you walk through the town and think about grabbing a few drinks. You start heading to one of the better bars, making your way through the crowds of unruly and drunken Jarheads. Somehow, you find yourself heading to the beach instead. You don't know why, but you smile. You walk out into the sand and remove your boots.

Your feet sink into the sand as the waves pull themselves away, back into the ocean from whence they came. The sky is overcast. A cool breeze is blowing. The scent of the salty air, the sounds of sea gulls somewhere near, all so calming. The beach is empty, you stand alone, embracing the peace your solitude offers. The sun is setting and with the overcast sky, the clouds have turned a bright shade of orange and pink, making the heavens look warm, comforting, and inviting.