rissabella

ever have one of those days where nothing goes right and you wish that some higher power will smite you where you stand so you no longer have to deal with it all? I am at that point, I was supposed to hear back for that job by fri by email or phone and i didnt, i asked for certain cables cuz im moving my room around bf claims it was never sent i go into my phone and oh look there it is. set was supposed to go up today so i count down the time 5 comes around its not up, i look its been post poned. i am gaining wieght losing money and i really just want to cry for days and my bf doesnt understand it because it all comes down to i cant handle the little things. big things are no problem to me, but with my bipolar the little things put me at such an edge i just want to explode and kill tihngs, hit things, and even sometimes just die. I feel so at the end of my rope that i will just die of stress and insanity. if i dont get out of my mothers house or get a storage unit, or even my own car soon I really think i will just give up. my brain literally feels like it is about to implode and no one understands me. i dont even undetstand myself or how to make it better.