riley

there's a glimpse
and i'll swear it was you, as always
and once more i'm stark and white
and all at once frozen, and melting
but of course, it's never you.
in fact,
i can't remember a time it has ever been.
just a horrid memory -
just limbs, really.
torso sharply angled.
shoulders slumped, head low.
i envy you.
the shape of you.
and how you can shift
into the thighs and hands of other boys
just so you can smear their fingers on my memory
and leave your stain

no matter where you might be now.