rik

you know when you'd like to change your mood and you simply can't??? that pretty much describes me at the moment...a funk if you will and though i'm not depressed or feel i'm in need of medication or anything...i basically wouldn't mind sauntering down an aisle in a store somewhere, turning change in my pocket and remembering how many greenbacks are in my wallet...scan the shelves and see a mood sitting there right below 'exuberant' and just to the sides of 'sulking' and 'chipper....a mood of 'pleasant indifference' sitting there in it's clean packaging, just waiting to be opened....it would be a little expensive of course...one can pass up many an opportunity being indifferent but when one doesn't really much care, they're pleasant and pretty much go with the flow??? It would be worth the extra cash...
i had that mood not long ago...got a little scuffed up over the last half a year and somehow, i think i must have gotten tense and nervous from family or friends for my birthday or something. I just didn't have the heart to take them back and exchange them...
I'm guessing most of my patients try to do this most days...but they're 'aisles' are streets and their moods are found at the end of a pipe, bottom of a bottle, encapsulated in pill or at the end of a needle...much too unreliable for me...
alcohol: happy first, then lovable, then invincible and finally depressed.
cocaine: happy, gibbery, wired, collapse
X: same
the pot: happy, paranoid, hungry, sleepy
heroin: dead

you see...i'm not saying 100% no to drugs for the mood change thing...but look up there...can't i just get ONE for the money??? and not "dead"...not the mood i was look for so heroin doesn't count. anyhow, i'll be shopping.......

gotta find that store soon...need a solid change no matter the cost.