I do not want to go to work tomorrow. If anyone says one thing, especially her... shits gonna hit the fan.
"I like you, baby. I like you," she says, stammering into the phone, seeming to be on the verge of tears. But I do not hear this "like." I hear nothing but the lack of love. "I like you," does not translate to love, nor is it lost along the path from her lips to my ears. She does not love me and hearing it,...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
tadzi:
having feelings sucks
bratgrrrl:
Yes to everything said above. Except cutting the vagina off. Maybe if it was just nicked a little? (Speaking of which, the Venus Vibrance always scared me. Seems like a baaaaad idea.)
But really, you deserve more. If it is meant to be, she needs to grow some and realize what a relationship means.
Take care, you.
kd
But really, you deserve more. If it is meant to be, she needs to grow some and realize what a relationship means.
Take care, you.
kd
New or old? Safe or unsafe? Is there safety in the familiar? Is there a certain safety in the unsafeness of someone old, someone familiar? Do I leave the old behind? Do I leave that old, familiar, unsafety or do I step out into the current, into these new, uncharted waters of the unfamiliar?
Ah, I'm not even making sense anymore.
Ah, I'm not even making sense anymore.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
pumpkineater:
i say similar sentiments in my journal
tadzi:
leave the past where it is. the bad shit comes back so quickly whatever good comes out of it goes away fast.
I want to stomp on the face of this conversation, break the nose, bloody the lips. I want to beat on the chest of this offense, pound the ribs, leave fist-shaped bruises, blue-green-yellow-black. I want, I want, I want- this and then that. That and now this. I want it all and I want it now and I want you shut up, shut UP, SHUT...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
rosie_baby:
sounds like you're going through a rough patch. matters of the heart are the hardest to deal with. mind & heart clashing together. hope you feel better soon.
I am frantic with thoughts, with deeds, with thoughts of doing deeds.
Ah, lust.
Ah, lust.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
venna:
Haha...Aren't we all?
fairygrlz:
Lust is hot!!! I fulfilled my thoughts last night and it was amazing....
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
rosie_baby:
you look sexy in that pic. black & white pics are the best. captures the moment so much better than in color.
venna:
You photograph so well and you look pretty damn cute in that pic, if I do say so myself. Now I know its been warmer out, but I still don't think NYC will be very welcoming to those shorts just yet....Brrrr... 
I came out to my mom last night in Starbucks. How fucking surreal is that? I wasn't even planning on it, really. We started talking about these thoughts I was having on gender roles and the importance we place on them in society and I was saying how I wished we lived in a completely androgynous society where gender wasn't clear-cut and such a hinderance...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
rosie_baby:
congrats on coming out to your mom. crazy that she entertains the idea of being with a woman. society needs to get over the fact that people need to be labeled. sexuality is such a huge part of human nature.
venna:
Good for you. It must feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of you. And I totally understand the whole "a-sexual" thing, as I've worried about the same thing myself.
But I'd looove to see your reaction to your mom saying she'd prolly date a chick.
But I'd looove to see your reaction to your mom saying she'd prolly date a chick.
"You ride the waves and don't ask where they go, you swim like lions through the crest and bathe yourselves in zebra flesh..."
(Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money) - Primitive Radio Gods
And baby, I'm swimming and I still don't see the shore from here, but I'm not thinking, just flying and all I see is blue and all I smell is...
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(Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money) - Primitive Radio Gods
And baby, I'm swimming and I still don't see the shore from here, but I'm not thinking, just flying and all I see is blue and all I smell is...
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venna:
Thanks for your comment
And btw, who the hell did your "owl" piece? I keep forgetting to ask you but it sure is mighty awesome. What are you getting for your sleeve?
And btw, who the hell did your "owl" piece? I keep forgetting to ask you but it sure is mighty awesome. What are you getting for your sleeve?
piski:
Grace, I cut off my finger.
And now I'm waiting.
And now I'm waiting.
I'm reading "The Trial" by Franz Kafka at the moment and I have to write a paper on it by 4:00 tomorrow afternoon. Gah... I am not into this book... at all. I guess I'm not into a nihilistic state of mind tonight. 
I wanna go dancing or do something fun. I went to a super fun party this weekend with some old friends, got...
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I wanna go dancing or do something fun. I went to a super fun party this weekend with some old friends, got...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fairygrlz:
Thank you so much. I don't feel corageous or brave. I feel very afraid of the unknown. I have found a few friends to help me stay strong but they can't be there 24 hours a day. When I changed my cell phone number I knew I was serious this time but I still worry and want to call her. I am afraid she is going to come to my house and force me to be with her again. I had horrible nightmares last night. I know it is necessary however. I need to be healthy and she needs to be healthy. I encourage you to be healthy and think only of yourself and what you need. If you are anything like me you constantly think of others and how they will feel about things. Stay strong and it will eventually work out. You will eventually find someone spectacular and you will be ok. If you need to talk or vent I am here for you. Surround yourself by posotive people only.
xoxoxo
xoxoxo
piski:
Weeeee! 
Thank you, lovely.
And I'd comment on the Kafka... but you know how I feel about him, so I'll avoid saying not-nice things.
Thank you, lovely.
And I'd comment on the Kafka... but you know how I feel about him, so I'll avoid saying not-nice things.
I'm going to let it go. I'm going to move past it, find something new, get a hobby, keep busy, do something, ANYTHING to let this one go. It's over, it's run it's course. I have got to accept that. I have got to realize that it was never going to go anywhere. I knew this from the start, from the very first time.
Let...
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Let...
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fairygrlz:
I understand, I am there as well.
kimmie:
I wish really I let it go over a year ago. But I'm still holding on.
I can't believe you resurrected "the switches." I'd completely forgotten about that. (I have to admit, for once, the idea is completely appealing.)
And if you didn't gather it by the fact that I'm currently sitting three feet from you, you can go take that cold shower now, 'cause I'm done.