Ok, so it has been confirmed that everything around me is becoming more and more convoluted and scary and much too big for me to handle. I'm going to take a leave of absence from school today (for this semester) and see how much money they'll hold for me. If I lose my scholarship, I will just jump out of my window. I may only break a toe or two, but I've done that before, so I figure I can take it.
Went to my ex's birthday party the other night which was a HUGE, DISASTROUS, TERRIFYING plan. It was aiight at first, if you ignored the fact that it was negative 2 degrees and I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. This whole panicked, questioning mental stability thing is new for me, so I hadn't quite grasped the basic rules of dealing with it.
Rule #1 being: Do not go to your fucking crazy ex g/f's birthday party when you're depressed and shaky.
Rule #2: Do not take those little colored things from ___________ anymore. He is a scary drug dealer. He is not your friend.
Rule #3: Never, ever, ever take those again.
I was high as a kite for at least 12 hours straight. And apparently, when I do stupid, moronic things like this, I can't fucking shut up. I spilled my entire life story, I think. My crazy ex's g/f was hating my guts all night. The dude came and spent the night, creeped me out and did not tape my mouth shut as someone who cared should have done.
But! It's a brand new day. If I can survive this weekend without embarrassing myself, crying, being completely broke or anything else horrible we can think of to pile onto this huge pile of shit, I believe I just may live to be 30 or something one day. We shall see. I am still incredibly excited that someone really hott and sexy and smart and funny and predator/drug dealer from new jersey is coming to chill with me.
I wanna do something the very first second I get a chance to, but I'ma scared. Would you do it?
Went to my ex's birthday party the other night which was a HUGE, DISASTROUS, TERRIFYING plan. It was aiight at first, if you ignored the fact that it was negative 2 degrees and I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. This whole panicked, questioning mental stability thing is new for me, so I hadn't quite grasped the basic rules of dealing with it.
Rule #1 being: Do not go to your fucking crazy ex g/f's birthday party when you're depressed and shaky.
Rule #2: Do not take those little colored things from ___________ anymore. He is a scary drug dealer. He is not your friend.
Rule #3: Never, ever, ever take those again.
I was high as a kite for at least 12 hours straight. And apparently, when I do stupid, moronic things like this, I can't fucking shut up. I spilled my entire life story, I think. My crazy ex's g/f was hating my guts all night. The dude came and spent the night, creeped me out and did not tape my mouth shut as someone who cared should have done.
But! It's a brand new day. If I can survive this weekend without embarrassing myself, crying, being completely broke or anything else horrible we can think of to pile onto this huge pile of shit, I believe I just may live to be 30 or something one day. We shall see. I am still incredibly excited that someone really hott and sexy and smart and funny and predator/drug dealer from new jersey is coming to chill with me.
I wanna do something the very first second I get a chance to, but I'ma scared. Would you do it?
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As for this sexy person coming to visit you...you should totally give me her number
though I can't imagine she could be sexier than you....
And as for this thing that you wanna do the first second you get a chance....well, I would need to know what you are talking about *cough* to give you, ya know, a detailed answer on that...but I would say to go for it anyway.