rigadoon

Okay, so I hung out with my quasi-girlfriend last night and I'm still extremely confused on what to do. I really am crazy about her and care about her so much, but she's still in a messy relationship and I don't feel right about being "that girl." You know? But... I just can't stop being with her. I think I'd have to move far away and quit my job and find someone else or something. The hardest part is... she's the first woman I've ever been with and like, she's the woman who made me realize that I'm gay or something very close to it. She's also the type of woman that makes it nearly impossible not to fall for. Gah... what to do, what to do? Also, she's said many times that if she ever becomes single again or breaks up with the girl she's with now, she'd want to have an open relationship, which really is something hard for me to accept. While I realize that everyone is attracted to other people from time to time, I don't think that makes it okay to bring them home with you. Ah... whatever. This is going to take some serious thought and probably a big chunk of heartbreak or disappointment. I think I should go out more and try to meet other girls and stuff. Maybe then I could decide what I want to do.


I'm not sure I even believe that.



On another note:
Tim Gunn, from Project Runway, came into the restaurant that I work at today. It was hilarious. He ordered a salad from me and it took everything I had not to burst out laughing. I just kept thinking of Santino immitating his voice. Oh man... funny stuff.