rictorblackbus

What the fuck is going on in my head these days? I want to get out and have some fun, but I'm just way too lethargic lately. There's also the whole branching out too far. I realize that not everyone has the best of intentions. Not all "out to get me " kinda bad, but not in my best interests.

And then the one person that for some reason gets to me on every level. I'm not cool enough, not punk enough, I don't drop everything I'm doing to go "hey, do you need a ride home from work?" And yet I can't escape the fucker, 'cause he lives with my best friend. It sucks because it deters me from hanging out with her because I don't want to deal with him.

Crap like this, coupled with my romantic loneliness, are really fucking me up lately. On that subject, Shit's really paranoid in my own head. I end up pre-judging everyone and writing them off just as quickly.

"I don't know how many times I've tried, to undo the knot you've tied."
-Bayside

What do I do to shake this thing? I'd really like to give the romance thing a try again, but I think deep down I'm way too petrified to.

"I would give anything to erase the past nine years of my life"
-Alkaline Trio

I'm glad I'm still not hiding all this shit with alcohol, though. But, the "liquid courage" would help me in this situation. Dammit. Damned if you do...