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rickroyal

Member Since 2003

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Saturday Aug 02, 2003

Aug 1, 2003
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This is me being annoyingly pedantic and aping David Foster Wallace a little too much. Perhaps best to simply move along. Next time there'll probably be some of the old "in, out, in, out" for your amusement.

In a certain country during a certain century that was a certain period during which members of a certain oppressed socio-economic class felt that they were getting the short end of the metaphoric stick and decided, like many other members of oppressed socio-economic classes throughout the ages, that they could do a better job of running this certain country than those who were currently in charge of said certain country. The oppressed socio-economic class proceeded to revolt and was able, after a long and somewhat bloody war, to overthrow those they who they felt were oppressing them and take control of the government. Unfortunately for the oppressed socio-economic class they were far better at overthrowing a government than they were at running one.

Enter Mlle. La Bitzer. In what must be considered one of the most efficient coups of a certain century, Mlle. La Bitzer was able, through the careful combination of persuasion, sexual favors, and unflinching force, to take control of the interim government that the oppressed socio-economic class had installed to take care of the day-to-day problems of running a country. As is probably apparent, Mlle. La Bitzer's rule was not entirely unlike the rule that preceded the revolt of the oppressed socio-economic class. The oppressed socio-economic class, which incidentally consisted mostly of peasants and farmers, was sent back into types of work in which they were most easily oppressed by the soldiers whom Mlle. La Bitzer had appointed to oversee the reintroduction of the oppressed socio-economic class into their former work.

Certain members of the oppressed socio-economic class decided that once again they were being oppressed, this time by a leader they had themselves placed in office (or so had Mlle. La Bitzer's rather efficient coup convinced them), and took matters into their own hands by taking Mlle. La Bitzer's head and placing it on a pole. Succeeding Mlle. La Bitzer was her conjoined twin (Mlle. La Bitzer and Mrs. Anna Demarkowitz had been joined at the hip, quite literally, since before they were born, and, had Mrs. Anna Demarkowitz had any say in political matters, there wouldn't have been much of the returning the oppressed socio-economic class back to the roles in which they'd been oppressed, but, due to an accident that occurred early in life, Mrs. Anna Demarkowitz's vocal cords had been severed and Mlle. La Bitzer had done the speaking for the both of them ever since) who became a bit of a puppet for the final lovely lady in this sordid story: Mrs. Timber Demarkowitz, Mrs. Ana Demarkowitz's wife, who was, it should be noted, the reincarnation of Elizabeth Bathory.

After the beheading of Mlle. La Bitzer and the succession of Mrs. Anna Demarkowitz to the seat of power (with Mrs. Timber Demarkowitz seated securely behind the throne, skillfully throwing her voice while her wife moved her lips and gave the appearance to anyone who wasn't in the know (which amounted to virtually no one) that Mrs. Anna Demarkowitz was the one issuing proclamations for virgins to be brought to the palace to donate their blood to a royal bath) there was something of an uneasy period in the country in which mothers and fathers were fearful that a cadre of soldiers would at any moment burst through their door and take away their young daughters; incidentally, there also was a rise in open teen sexuality during this time, the origin of which seems easy to explain. And so, the reign of terror of Mrs. Anna Demarkowitz was started.

The repressed socio-economic class (who were now growing weary of revolution and wanted nothing more than to return to their farms and pay their original taxes without having to fear for their virgin daughters) staged yet another coup, this time for the purpose of installing back in power the nephew of the king they'd previous deposed. And that's how the nephew of the former king, a stable boy who'd never slept on a bed not stuffed with straw, came to be the most beloved king of a certain country in a certain century, and the oppressed socio-economic class settled back into their familiar roles.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
lighthammer:
Moral of the Story: The More things change, the more they stay the same.
Aug 3, 2003
bombshellbetty:
I was referring to the infamous "they." You know: "They say that the world is going to explode in a shower of fiery sparks and we're all going to be floating through the solar system until we die." The response being: "Oh, do they? Then it must be true!"

Yeah, the old "in, out, in, out" can be pretty amusing, but I'll read about beheadings and human puppets any day!
Aug 3, 2003

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