rickroyal

I've never had sex on my birthday. Things just never seem to work out on that day of the year to put me in a position where I and a lover can spend an hour or two alone together. Kinda like how, no matter how hard I try, I've never been fucked under a Christmas tree. Ah, well.

Tonight many loved ones will accompany me to a wonderful Japanese steakhouse where the waiters will sing a version of "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands" when they find out it's my birthday. And then it's back to the homestead for cake and presents.