rickets

I was always under the impression that if you looked bad in high school (fat or otherwise) you might improve your appearance, but if you looked good in high school, there was nowhere to go but down. I was wrong.

Went to a friend's wedding--more accurately a friend's sister's wedding--yesterday. One of the bridesmaids was a girl I never gave much thought to in high school, but had admired from afar to some extent. She was very cute back then. Great face and long blond hair. She played tennis, which didn't rock my world either way. It's just something I remember about her.

I haven't seen her and rarely thought about her for the last ten years since I graduated high school. When I heard she would be there, I was curious, expecting, of course, that time would have made her less attractive somehow. Quite to the contrary, her original beauty was still intact, but was appended by a certain degree of poise and elegance that comes with age, making her much more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She daintily sipped wine, apparently dateless, while the other bridesmaids swilled Miller Lite.

The fact that she appeared to be dateless not only astounded me, but almost forced me to say "long-distance girlfriend? What long-distance girlfriend?"

For the first time in almost three years I really wondered what I would do if an opportunity presented itself. I chose to just not try to talk to her (which was easy because I don't know her) and let the moment slip away, so I can brood about it in private for a few days and then let it go. If she had approached me, I'm sure I would have stayed faithful to my girlfriend, but I'm not sure if that's really what I would have wanted.

I don't like doubting myself.