richard_

Its always the same when i dream of her... Shes standing there looking into my eyes telling me how she loves me, and I'm telling her how much I love her as well. I know its her because of how it feels when she is near. But she changes constantly, seamlessly, as she continues to profess her love. Hair color... eye color... even the color of her skin. Brown eyes... blue eyes... As she takes my face within her delicate gold scented hands and hopelessly searches my eyes... honey colored, now back to the deepest saddest green. "Monika stop this please..." I whisper as i try to pull her close. But she is uncontrollable now... a woman in love, yet still unable to believe things are really as real as they seem. "I cant stop this..." She cries as tears fall down her cheeks, and her hair changes from long and dark to short, curly, and blond. "I've told you before Richard, I want you more than anything... need you more than anyone!!" And she is all I love, all i'll ever need as well. But still she changes constantly before me. Dark skin.... light skin... tall... short... for love. Never able to believe, yet always wishing she could. "But I've told you already..." I reassure as I touch her lips with mine. "Your all i've ever needed, all i'll ever ever want!!" I tell her as our tears come together to warm our desperate kiss. "I wish i could believe you..." She cries as her hair blows around her now soft and brown on the coolest gentle breeze. "But its totally impossible that YOU, could EVER, love someone as hopelessly damaged as me..." She cries even harder now as the image of her already begins to fade. "Monika NO!!!!!" I beg as she slips like the clouds from within my hope-filled grasp. "Please, stay....." But I know its already once again too late. And then she is gone, and I am left wondering alone,

When will i dream...

again.