What tha FUCK??????????? My friggin damn chiropractor has a profile on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha....ha......HAA!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, not so funny in itself.... just that this dude is CONSTANTLY trying to save my sinful soul as he's damn near crackin off me neck!!! I swear, everytime i go see him, on average bout' 2-3 times a month, (cause if you really do it right, only living once should damn near be enough to kill ya) this guy starts preaching to me about being saved.
So i'm like, "saved...? You mean like preserved???"
And he's like, "Ha...ha..... Rich, sure do love that sense of humor.....!"
So i says, "Why thank ye Doc! But i think i like YOURS even more!!!"
Anyways, this goes on... tit-for-tat until nobody's obviously won, i bid thanks, and shuffle out tha door.
Then, a day or two later... he calls, ask when i want to set my next appointment for, tells me to stop falling asleep out on the back porch (which evidently is not good for one's neck), then makes his way around to talking about God, and hows i SERIOUSLY needs to be saved!
Saved........?
Me, saved!!!!!!
SAVED FOR FUCKING DAMN WHAT????????????????
There ain't no fucking boobies in Heaven!!!!!!! So why in the HELL would any rightfully minded human being ever want to go????? I mean, ok.... so you lived a righteous life, praised God, always passed-tha-dutchie-to-tha-lefthand-side and what not, you die, go to Heaven, and every single mutha fucka up there (i mean EVERY single one) could care less about boobies at all!!!!! No boobies, not a single solitary one!
...Rich, you say, "...how can you say theses things? How can you be so sure there's no boobies in Heaven? How can you be so sure, show us your PROOF GODDAMMIT, SHOW US SOME FUCKING EVIDENCE!!!!!!!"
"Fine!!!!!" i says, "FINE!!!!!"
This "proof" i have, this "evidence" wanting to be seen by all, is gracefully hanging from every women's chest contained within this site!!!!
"Now Rich....." you say, "are you sure you want to go on record as saying ALL boobies are beautiful in their own unique way...? Are you sure your willing to do what it takes to forever stand behind these claims?????"
To which i reply, "Yes goddammit..... YES!!!!!! Even if i die and go to Heaven, even fucking then, i still do solemnly swear... to always love the boobies!!!!!! Every.....single....ONE!!!"
So there you have it folks! Thats how i know theres just NO WAY God would allow boobies in Heaven. They'd be too big of a distraction!!! I mean, who in their right mind would want to play a frickin HARP.... every single day, for goddamn fucking eternity, rather than stand around and admire eons worth of beautiful glorious BOOBIES!!!!!!
Ya know, who in their right fucking mind? There'd be know way anything could ever get done up there! I mean, you won't need a job when you die and go to Heaven. And, as far as i can imagine... there'd be no need to eat. So what else would you have to do? Accept stand around and giggle at boobies!
So, long story short! Guess my chiropractor is thinking along these same lines, cause there he fucking goes!!!! Sittin there giggling at boobies!
And speaking of boobies..... I think Pilar is finally waking up! Boy, is she in for a suprise!!!
Ha....ha......HAA!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, not so funny in itself.... just that this dude is CONSTANTLY trying to save my sinful soul as he's damn near crackin off me neck!!! I swear, everytime i go see him, on average bout' 2-3 times a month, (cause if you really do it right, only living once should damn near be enough to kill ya) this guy starts preaching to me about being saved.
So i'm like, "saved...? You mean like preserved???"
And he's like, "Ha...ha..... Rich, sure do love that sense of humor.....!"
So i says, "Why thank ye Doc! But i think i like YOURS even more!!!"
Anyways, this goes on... tit-for-tat until nobody's obviously won, i bid thanks, and shuffle out tha door.
Then, a day or two later... he calls, ask when i want to set my next appointment for, tells me to stop falling asleep out on the back porch (which evidently is not good for one's neck), then makes his way around to talking about God, and hows i SERIOUSLY needs to be saved!
Saved........?
Me, saved!!!!!!
SAVED FOR FUCKING DAMN WHAT????????????????
There ain't no fucking boobies in Heaven!!!!!!! So why in the HELL would any rightfully minded human being ever want to go????? I mean, ok.... so you lived a righteous life, praised God, always passed-tha-dutchie-to-tha-lefthand-side and what not, you die, go to Heaven, and every single mutha fucka up there (i mean EVERY single one) could care less about boobies at all!!!!! No boobies, not a single solitary one!
...Rich, you say, "...how can you say theses things? How can you be so sure there's no boobies in Heaven? How can you be so sure, show us your PROOF GODDAMMIT, SHOW US SOME FUCKING EVIDENCE!!!!!!!"
"Fine!!!!!" i says, "FINE!!!!!"
This "proof" i have, this "evidence" wanting to be seen by all, is gracefully hanging from every women's chest contained within this site!!!!
"Now Rich....." you say, "are you sure you want to go on record as saying ALL boobies are beautiful in their own unique way...? Are you sure your willing to do what it takes to forever stand behind these claims?????"
To which i reply, "Yes goddammit..... YES!!!!!! Even if i die and go to Heaven, even fucking then, i still do solemnly swear... to always love the boobies!!!!!! Every.....single....ONE!!!"
So there you have it folks! Thats how i know theres just NO WAY God would allow boobies in Heaven. They'd be too big of a distraction!!! I mean, who in their right mind would want to play a frickin HARP.... every single day, for goddamn fucking eternity, rather than stand around and admire eons worth of beautiful glorious BOOBIES!!!!!!
Ya know, who in their right fucking mind? There'd be know way anything could ever get done up there! I mean, you won't need a job when you die and go to Heaven. And, as far as i can imagine... there'd be no need to eat. So what else would you have to do? Accept stand around and giggle at boobies!
So, long story short! Guess my chiropractor is thinking along these same lines, cause there he fucking goes!!!! Sittin there giggling at boobies!
And speaking of boobies..... I think Pilar is finally waking up! Boy, is she in for a suprise!!!
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
vampiress:
Hey, glad that you liked my pic. I loved how you described my body back to me....very inticing. Anyway...hope you're well.
pastura:
still haven't fixed your profile picture, eh? well, you should spend your time on reading instead anyway. i've been rereading lots of my old favorites since i haven't gotten to the bookstore lately. like Hamlet, Brave New World, Phantom of the Opera, etc. it's fun to see how much more you can get from something the second time around, even if it's been YEARS. but when i do get to a bookstore, you can be sure i'll look for Zen. i appreciate the book review. have you heard of Blink? a few years old already, it's about the snap judgements we make in the first seconds after we meet someone... i think that's going to be the second book i buy.