I'm struggling with my own head right now. I feel tired and I don't know what I want, or who I am.
I'm wishing things were different, and that maybe i'd enjoy life more if i was born someone else, or to someone else, or somewhere else? If you get what I mean. I guess I am trying to say I am tired with my surroundings. My job, my home, my family. Nothing ever happens, and I am craving an adventure. I just don't have the balls to break out on my own.
I wish things were simpler with my current relationship. Don't get me wrong, he's perfect! It's just the whole situation is getting me down. He's not really that far away, but it's dificult for me to reach him down to the hours we both work and money. Christmas could be a lonely one, so I'm working it. Plus, even when Shauny returns back to us, there's talk of making him a company relief chef, which is wicked to be honest. He'll earn more money and gain far more experience with the company, but that means I'll hardly see him again and I'm not sure I'd like to deal with that? I'm learning to drive, so maybe it won't be so bad, but I'd rather like to settle into my own place.
I think I might check back in with the doctors and try medication again. Not something that excites me, I assure you, but the more I work the tireder I get and the less I am able to cope with depression. I think because I'd like to really concentrate on my job, it would be the best plan. I don't sleep well anymore and this makes it dificult for me to concentrate on my job and just function in general.
I dunnnooooooooo.
I'm just at a loss with everything at the moment. I needed to get this out.
In other news.....
I'm feeling alot more feminine. I keep thinking about maybe getting my lady parts pierced to match my nipples, ahah, but I am not sure. What do you reckon?
I'm wishing things were different, and that maybe i'd enjoy life more if i was born someone else, or to someone else, or somewhere else? If you get what I mean. I guess I am trying to say I am tired with my surroundings. My job, my home, my family. Nothing ever happens, and I am craving an adventure. I just don't have the balls to break out on my own.
I wish things were simpler with my current relationship. Don't get me wrong, he's perfect! It's just the whole situation is getting me down. He's not really that far away, but it's dificult for me to reach him down to the hours we both work and money. Christmas could be a lonely one, so I'm working it. Plus, even when Shauny returns back to us, there's talk of making him a company relief chef, which is wicked to be honest. He'll earn more money and gain far more experience with the company, but that means I'll hardly see him again and I'm not sure I'd like to deal with that? I'm learning to drive, so maybe it won't be so bad, but I'd rather like to settle into my own place.
I think I might check back in with the doctors and try medication again. Not something that excites me, I assure you, but the more I work the tireder I get and the less I am able to cope with depression. I think because I'd like to really concentrate on my job, it would be the best plan. I don't sleep well anymore and this makes it dificult for me to concentrate on my job and just function in general.
I dunnnooooooooo.
I'm just at a loss with everything at the moment. I needed to get this out.
In other news.....
I'm feeling alot more feminine. I keep thinking about maybe getting my lady parts pierced to match my nipples, ahah, but I am not sure. What do you reckon?
The SG community as a whole are here to help you out Im sorry things are rubbish right noe and hope you relationship works out take a few weeks to figure out if its for you an remember you are still at a trial and error stage in your life we all are
Dean xx