rhymeswithmike

So I figured, "Fuck this whole 'fat skinny' shit. I want to be fucking fit!"

Yep. Mastermind Plan: get a hottie's exercise workout.
So I bought Carmen Electra's aerobic strip tease; I figured I'd be motivated to watch her, so it'd be easy to convince myself to exercise. Here's a clip:


Motivated to watch? YES. Motivated to work out? ...Yeah, not so much. I found myself in workout gear, sitting on the floor and just watching Carmen stretch and jump and shake and sweat. Sometimes I'd even watch her exercise while I ate my dinner. Not so effective.


Right. On to Plan B: get a not-as-hottie's exercise workout.
So then I downloaded Jillian Michaels' 30-day shred (aka annihilation) workout set. (Bonus note: she's queer! Stellar. Might have to add her butt to my future robot wife's perfect body.) Check out her ad:


Motivated to watch? YES. Motivated to have abs like the blonde girl? SHIT YEAH!
Fuck me sideways those 20 minutes are torture! I'm on day 5, which in itself is a minor miracle, and I have noticed that my endurance is better. Still fucking hate pushups (I can only do the lame on-yer-knees ones), but I can sit-up and run on the spot like nobody's business.

So yeah, watch Carmen, but work out to Jillian.
...Or invite them both over at the same time for a private lesson, starting with some warm-up sex.