rexall

i have been tearing up all day long. i have done well keeping it together through school. sitting at home is a bit dangerous, i really just want to curl up in a ball and cry. however it's really not worth it.

i find that i repeat cycles and once again i put more effort into something and did not receive the same in return. and when i feel like i have been lied to, used or made to feel stupid i cannot do anything but react. and reacting for me always winds up with jumping the gun and then deletion of a person from my life. i am hurt. i have every right to be hurt. i have been trying really hard to make something that most people would think is stupid work. and then i say something and the truth comes out. it figures that i would find something i want and be so far away from it.

but it's fine. you live and learn and you take what you can from the situation. i learned a lot about me. sadly i still have a heart and probably gave too much of it away. sweet bejesus this hurts. and crying. damnit.

time for physical therapy in this fucking 100 degree heat. this sucks. this weather is unacceptable.

i am fine people. trust me. just a bump in the road.