rexall

so many good shows this week. and tonight is matt skiba. i will properly update eventually. not that anyone actually wants to read my rants but i'll get around to it.

bayside and senses fail this evening. i have an extra ticket. want it? lol. i'll be there around 8 something. i'm so fucking pissed off right now i can't fucking wait for this show. i got bruised and beaten up on wed night at the show. soooooooo good. need it again.

i don't feel good. someone come cuddle and take care of me. thank you.

Okay. I get what you're all saying. Now let me clarify LOL. I don't want a boyfriend. I want to be single for a VERY long time. I need to take care of myself. I have to fix all the things I think need fixing with me. But what I want is for a guy, that obviously likes me, to just admit it. Instead of...
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I think that if you like someone then you should fucking say it. Is it that hard? I do it all the time. And have you fucking met me? I have had my heart and soul DESTROYED this year. I'm so fucking broken I don't think I can be repaired. And yet I am still able to feel something for other people. And I'm really...
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maybe i just hate my bed? maybe i just really want to cuddle? either way my bed is too big and the pups just aren't the same as another human. sigh.

taking applications for serious cuddle friends LOL

eff it. just a big ole eff it

let's not be too hasty folks. yes i had a good day and i will have plenty more but there is still this sadness that permeates every part of my body. and i haven't slept well in days. panic attack, nightmares and just all around not being able to sleep.

But also included in Sunday's loveliness was the pretty boy at school text messaging me...
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i made out with tattooed today. i made it happen. i needed it to happen. and it was fantastic. and i smelled like him for hours which made my whole night better. then i went and ran a talent show benefit fundraiser and made a shit ton of money in Cairey's name. And I cried for her a whole lot. it was an amazing night....
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Panic attack. Shaking. Crying. Can't get enough oxygen. Completely knocked off center. Don't know what to do. So much pain. The world is caving in.

So yesterday I came home from work in so much pain that I took 2 percocet and passed out. Stupid lady parts. I woke up to sounds coming from downstairs. And the dogs freaking out. Guess who came to get his stuff with our friend (his friend now) and a UHaul? Yep that would be River. No text message. No nothing. He didn't think I...
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