rexa

Have you ever consistently made the same shitty decision, all the while knowing it was a shitty decision and going along with it anyways? Have you ever realized that really, all your problems stem from yourself and your poor ability to refrain from acting on destructive impulses? Have you ever gone to sleep every night knowing that you cause irreparable damage to the people you love most? Do you ever act in the heart-pounding, heavy-breathing, drunk-with-lust, heat of a moment, knowing full well that there is no fucking excuse for what you're doing, but that you're completely responsible for your actions? Have you ever been filled with self-loathing and anger but utterly unable to escape the self you distrust? Is it so possible to go from complete self-assured happiness to the depths of disgust in a single evening? And the worst part is, it's your fault. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Have you ever considered that maybe he was right when he said you were a filthy whore, and that maybe you're a prescription-drug addicted alcoholic to boot? Have you ever run out of tears? Have you ever typed all about it in an online journal? Jesus tapdancing Christ...I'm fucking pathetic.
*Please disregard*