Friday Apr 13, 2007

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Where did you go amongst the silent trees?

I swear that somewhere in the night we loved. We wrapped around each other until there was no distance, no space just the quiet throb of two bodies suddenly becoming one.
rin:
this is how i feel about my mr. rin. we just blend into eachother and sometimes overlap.
calixte:
... I just hope this means you are happy or that things are making more sense...

*hugs* kiss

Monday Apr 09, 2007

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The love front is no less clear. Everything twists and turns around itself. The last week we were together climbing, working to change a little part of the world. It was amazing to be in the same place we grew close again, told stories and held each other at night. Now back in the reality of this place she sleeps there and I sleep here....
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beckyjane:
Good luck.

Tuesday Mar 27, 2007

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She just broke up with me and my heart is breaking. This is what I am planning on sending back. Your comments, input, suggestions would all be greatly appreciated:

"This is likely the last personal email from me you will get for some time. I say likely because I know I have difficulty in not pushing the send button and because I am still trying...
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calixte:
I'm sorry.

I think what you wrote is honest.

Monday Mar 26, 2007

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Well I never pushed the send button. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to be the hardcore, unfeeling person I sometimes want to be. I wish I could just tell what the next few cards were so I knew how much I was going to lose or if I was going to miraculously get the card I need and get to hear...
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calixte:

"It's harder being in limbo then hell I imagine."

I so agree.

tongue

I am never able to do it either... so I remain in limbo... hopeing.. le sigh.

Tuesday Mar 20, 2007

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I have only poems to keep my mind company

Finding words to mend seconds together
I feel myself ache into the silent desert

How did we lose each other?
somehow among all the laughter
we slipped past

But you still rest in me

I dream of porch swings that wait for two lovers
of places full of hope

should I wait for you?

calixte:
Its nice to see your face. You are a very handsome man.

"I dream of porch swings that wait for two lovers of places full of hope"

I love that line.... All of my romantic perfect future have a porch swing... I think out of all the beautiful lines you have ever penned this one is the sweetest for me...

Guess things are still not resolved as you might wish them to be. I hope you are doing alright inspite of that. My thoughts are with you.

Take care. kiss

Sunday Feb 25, 2007

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I sit in a pool of emotions trying to wade through each one so that I can see myself through the waves.

Seeing you is amazing, my heart races, when we accidently catch each others eyes my whole body smiles and shivers, I sit gleeful and wonder struck.

I want to do a million wonderful things, but I want you whole, without reservation, I want...
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calixte:
You're welcome, but truly my thanks go to you for being so honest to write such words for my eyes to read. Its humbling because I know that I do not let myself engage in emotions this deep very often anymore... I keep saying this but every time I read something that you wrote it makes my skin tingle because you have such a mastery over the words, you bend them, make them express exactly what you wish, and in that moment we see a glimps of your soul. And that is so powerful.

I envy you in a way too... You allow yourself to feel this deeply and completely and I sometimes feel myself getting lost in the everyday, I let fear hold me back from expressing my deep heartfelt feelings. Fear of rejection. Fear of being too much too fast too soon - whatever. I feel it/felt it, in different ways for differnt people at different moments in my life - who was the one who lost out? Me or them, because I never found the courage or had the the moment to express without fear the feelings I had inside. Because they were never willing to hear, accept, or understand my feelings.

Its almost a weight to bear - to bind up the emotions and hide them deep inside and wait.

Thursday Feb 22, 2007

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I think I am at a crossroads both in my mind and in my heart.

Over the next few days I am hoping that you can really try to figure out how you feel about us and me. I need to know if part of the reason you are going through this is because when you think about me, you think there is something magical,...
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Tuesday Jan 16, 2007

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Last week we were in Detroit to mix it with auto execs and 6,000 reporters from around the world at the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS). The NAIAS is the world's premier auto event and all the auto companies were out in true green washing force.

Cops, cops and more cops:
Sometimes the best way to tell how effective you are being is to...
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Saturday Jan 13, 2007

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mike's eyes are tired and his brain is muddy with thoughts. Wondering about walls and ants and what clever constructive creatures we are. Wondering if there were no words, if life contained no sound at all would the silence speak? Would it generate its own fitful melody to lull us to the coming day? Would it somehow know us by name and call us like...
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