reverendrock

losing a friend to drugs is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. not dead, just lost. because you can't do anything about it. you can't make them stop, you can't make the pain go away, you have to see them, look into thier eyes and relize that they're not even looking back at you, you have to watch them fall apart. you have to try and decipher the tear filled slurred message on your phone at 3 in the morning, then you have to wonder why they don't pick up when you call back. you have to relize that the problem is not yours and that you can't help it, but you have to be there for them whenever they need it.

i hate drugs. i honestly think they are the worst thing ever to happen to a society of beings that wants nothing more then to be entertained and happy. no matter false or real. 3 years of my life i spent 90% fucked up and 10% sober and i'd say 8% was cuz i was sleeping. that was 9 years ago, now i work 60 hour weeks, i sit at my house all day either playing video games or tryting to find some other sort of amusement, and i'm happier then i've ever been. i still have a bad stomach, nose bleeds, twitches, no attention span, a horrible memory, and worst of all dead friends to remind me why i stopped. i don't see why other people just can't get that. end rant i'm done, i could go on so much longer

p.s.- my birthday was the 22nd, my grandma died the 23rd, then this whole drug thing with my friend really developed, and then some more shit went down. this year started off really good. and i refuse to let go down