reverendbenzo

I have this thing for this girl that I work with. I try to remind myself that it's not really her that I'm into even though she is indeed ungodly sexy , laughs at my stupid jokes and a total nerd. It's the idea of having someone with said features, for lack of a better word, that may be into me. I'm getting mixed signals though. I really think that I should just go through life like a drone with the realization and lifetime proof that relationships just don't work in my favor. I mean, hell, we've only hung out outside of work once.

We went through my comic books and played Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2. I like that kind of shit. I will never tell my best friend (Adam) that I had a hot Puerto Rican girl over at my house we read comic books and played video games. Skythe seemed disappointed that we didn't sleep together but I'm guessing appreciated, at least, the nerd factor. Sex is there in my mind but not as important now. God, I suck at life. This is the only place I can't rant about shit like this. I have too many friends and co-workers on my facebook to talk about it.

I get it. I know. But my other O.C.D. infested minds doesn't know the difference between love and the idea of just being with someone cool. It's all confusing.These feelings crush my chest with a feeling not unlike heartburn. My stomach hurts like hell with I'm with someone I want to be around more.Bascially, the feelings of "longing" make me want to have a heart attack, pass out and take a shit.

I really wish I could just tap myself on the shoulder and go back to my mild numbness accented by self-depreciating humor. I think it's easier that way.

I'l try to be funnier next time.