Before my boss went on a two week vacation to Costa Rica, she warned me that crazy folk would be crawling "out of the woodworks". She wasn't fucking kidding. I've had more people coming in for refunds than I've ever had in my 5 years at that particular store.
Yesterday, I had this this guy ride up on his bicycle about 20 minutes before I opened. He just sat there on his bike and stared a fucking hole through me while I checked in movies, did the morning report,etc. When I opened, he asked me for a job app. I told him that we were closing the store in less than a week. He said that it was okay and asked for one again. I gave him one knowing that I was just going to throw it out. He filled it out then took it with him while he walked towards the new movies for sale. He asked me about Date Movie, thinking it had been out for years-I corrected him with an offhanded manner while I completed the day's sales report.
A few minutes later he walked through the Systematic and it went off. You aren't allowed to ask if they are stealing, so I asked if if he had anything that he "forgot" about. He said no, so I asked him to walk thourgh it again. It beeped a second time. I asked him to lift up his shirt. He did very quickly and I saw nothing so I asked him if I could could what was it his back pockets. He said he didn't "have time for that, dawg". I told him to hold on (I'm not very eloquent) and I could clearly see the tell tale sings of rectangular theivery in his back pocket. I screamed "BACK POCKET! BACK FUCKING POCKET! HOLD ON, YOU ASSHOLE!!" (Later one, I was reminded of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry screams at George for wearing a "RED SHIRT, RED SHIRT!!!")
Anyway I called the cops. When the cop arrived, he recoginzed me from VG and the first thing he said before asking about the "crime" was, "Dude, you're website is hilarious!" I momentarily forgot about the thieft and asked, "Oh, yeah? Ya like it?"
I filled out the report and that was that. What really gets me though is that the guy actually filled out a job application and left his real name. The phone number ended up being his dad's. I still am in awe that the guy got their early just to shoplift.
When I first started this BLOG, I had every purpose of telliing about the rude cunt I had on the phone today but she seems boring now and not worth the effort it takes my drunken fingers to type out. I will tell you instead about the motorcycle accident on Monday night.
My co-worker Aaron, Skythe and I were standing outside Blockbuster after we closed having a cigarette and leisurely pasing the time. We heared a squeal of what could only be tires and looked up just in time to see a guy on a scooter slam into a telephone pole and the street sign that was right next to it. We all let out the obligatory "Holy shit!" and ran over across the street. At fist glance, I really thought the dude was dead. I was hoping he wasn't, of course, but he wasn't moving. Skythe gently shook him and asked if he was okay but there was no response. My heart was pounding but let up a bit when I saw his breath moving the sand under his nose. There were many rubberneckers, including this one Jewish guy (he was wearing a yamaka) kept asking the guy if had "been drinking" "where's you driver's license" etc) I told him to leave the guy alone.
That's it.
Yesterday, I had this this guy ride up on his bicycle about 20 minutes before I opened. He just sat there on his bike and stared a fucking hole through me while I checked in movies, did the morning report,etc. When I opened, he asked me for a job app. I told him that we were closing the store in less than a week. He said that it was okay and asked for one again. I gave him one knowing that I was just going to throw it out. He filled it out then took it with him while he walked towards the new movies for sale. He asked me about Date Movie, thinking it had been out for years-I corrected him with an offhanded manner while I completed the day's sales report.
A few minutes later he walked through the Systematic and it went off. You aren't allowed to ask if they are stealing, so I asked if if he had anything that he "forgot" about. He said no, so I asked him to walk thourgh it again. It beeped a second time. I asked him to lift up his shirt. He did very quickly and I saw nothing so I asked him if I could could what was it his back pockets. He said he didn't "have time for that, dawg". I told him to hold on (I'm not very eloquent) and I could clearly see the tell tale sings of rectangular theivery in his back pocket. I screamed "BACK POCKET! BACK FUCKING POCKET! HOLD ON, YOU ASSHOLE!!" (Later one, I was reminded of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry screams at George for wearing a "RED SHIRT, RED SHIRT!!!")
Anyway I called the cops. When the cop arrived, he recoginzed me from VG and the first thing he said before asking about the "crime" was, "Dude, you're website is hilarious!" I momentarily forgot about the thieft and asked, "Oh, yeah? Ya like it?"
I filled out the report and that was that. What really gets me though is that the guy actually filled out a job application and left his real name. The phone number ended up being his dad's. I still am in awe that the guy got their early just to shoplift.
When I first started this BLOG, I had every purpose of telliing about the rude cunt I had on the phone today but she seems boring now and not worth the effort it takes my drunken fingers to type out. I will tell you instead about the motorcycle accident on Monday night.
My co-worker Aaron, Skythe and I were standing outside Blockbuster after we closed having a cigarette and leisurely pasing the time. We heared a squeal of what could only be tires and looked up just in time to see a guy on a scooter slam into a telephone pole and the street sign that was right next to it. We all let out the obligatory "Holy shit!" and ran over across the street. At fist glance, I really thought the dude was dead. I was hoping he wasn't, of course, but he wasn't moving. Skythe gently shook him and asked if he was okay but there was no response. My heart was pounding but let up a bit when I saw his breath moving the sand under his nose. There were many rubberneckers, including this one Jewish guy (he was wearing a yamaka) kept asking the guy if had "been drinking" "where's you driver's license" etc) I told him to leave the guy alone.
That's it.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
mnislahi:
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
lorelei:
thank you for your very nice comment on my latest set! 
