In case you doubted that I do indeed live/work in the ghetto, I give you:
I've been sick for about two weeks yet I am feeling much better now. I have been insanely hungry for the last few days. I can't seem to get enough to eat. The problem is that I am completley broke right now. I have $0 in the bank and the same in my wallet and pockets of my dirty jeans. I don't get paid until Friday so I have been milking the little bit of food that I have. I've been eating hotdogs (no buns), canned biscuits and cheese crackers. I have stolen about 10 sodas from work so far. I have some spaghetti noodles and a jar of Chunky Garden Ragu. I am saving that though. I want to eat all of the crap first so that I'll have the "good stuff" left when I competely run out of everything else.
The Capped Jerk, Skythe and I went to the titty bar the other day. CJ and I were already really drunk by the time we got there, which was around 3 a.m. They were moving way too slow for my taste so I went to see what was happening in the club. I walked up to the stage just in time for Cooterball. The dancer takes a plastic cup and places it by her vagina. The object is to take a dollar bill and ring the cup and if you do then you win an autographed picture of her (she's "famous" although I had never heard of her). I won in only two tries. When I sank the second shot the deejay announced, "We have a winner!" Adam (CJ) later told me that he said jokingly said to Skythe, "That was probably Ben". They had a little chuckle and then I walked up with a big shit eating grin on my face holding the photo. They busted out laughing and Adam almost spilled his beer. I was wondering what was so goldang funny but I still had the smile on my face. I don't even kow where the picture is now.
I've been sick for about two weeks yet I am feeling much better now. I have been insanely hungry for the last few days. I can't seem to get enough to eat. The problem is that I am completley broke right now. I have $0 in the bank and the same in my wallet and pockets of my dirty jeans. I don't get paid until Friday so I have been milking the little bit of food that I have. I've been eating hotdogs (no buns), canned biscuits and cheese crackers. I have stolen about 10 sodas from work so far. I have some spaghetti noodles and a jar of Chunky Garden Ragu. I am saving that though. I want to eat all of the crap first so that I'll have the "good stuff" left when I competely run out of everything else.
The Capped Jerk, Skythe and I went to the titty bar the other day. CJ and I were already really drunk by the time we got there, which was around 3 a.m. They were moving way too slow for my taste so I went to see what was happening in the club. I walked up to the stage just in time for Cooterball. The dancer takes a plastic cup and places it by her vagina. The object is to take a dollar bill and ring the cup and if you do then you win an autographed picture of her (she's "famous" although I had never heard of her). I won in only two tries. When I sank the second shot the deejay announced, "We have a winner!" Adam (CJ) later told me that he said jokingly said to Skythe, "That was probably Ben". They had a little chuckle and then I walked up with a big shit eating grin on my face holding the photo. They busted out laughing and Adam almost spilled his beer. I was wondering what was so goldang funny but I still had the smile on my face. I don't even kow where the picture is now.
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that piggly wiggly sign is pretty hilarious