reverend_sen

Okay, granted my last entry was pretty fucked up. But than so am I. Well it seems a twist of fate has fallen upon my door step. My sister is having a minor opperation. So my other sister and I have decided to fly out and spend some time with her. Here comes the twist, she lives in portland. Now if any of you have been paying attention, which I'm certain you have not, Portland is the home to none other but the ONE. April. Did you know that reoccurring thoughts of the same person once in every 24 hour period for a time spanning over 2 years qualifys as an "OBSESSION". I'm fucking insane and the sad thing is that I'm well aware of it. So will I be making an attempt to see her again? Frankly my friends I'm not certain I can help myself. Now I assure you I talk like I'm a crazy person but that's just who I am. My intentions are NOT REPROACHFUL. Do I expect to walk in the room and she walks up to me and throws her arms around me? No. In fact she probably won't even give a shit. Am I expecting her to fall madly in love with me. No. I guess I'm just looking for what all the sad bastards are looking for, closure. But one thing is for damn sure, I convinced my self for this last year that she never really cared about me. But when I look at those letters I know for fact thats just not the case. Oh well.