revanche

I went out this evening only to be confronted within a painful memory from my childhood. I'm not sure what provoked me to deviate from my usual choice of Fanta but instead I chose Sprite. It's odd because I almost never get Sprite. I drink it when I want soda but the choices aren't that great. Anyway, I'm walking back to my place when I open the can and start drinking. Suddenly, I am taken back to when I was living with my mother as a preteen/teenager. She spent a majority of my childhood a serious alcoholic. Among the many things she would drink throughout the course of an evening, a major staple of her nightly binge was of course wine coolers. I used to sneak drinks of the sprite she used to add to overly generous amounts of Clos Du Bois. Though I didn't quite realize it at the time, seeing and even drinking the mixings for those wine coolers were a constant yet subtle reminder that my home was not safe and I was alone.