revanche

I just got back from seeing my doctor (good thing I had an appointment scheduled after yesterday morning's disaster). My medication dosage has been raised substantially so, I am guessing I'll be out a good portion of today. What a great was to start the semester eh? But I suppose it's better than waking up shaking, unable to breathe and in so much pain that I vomit bile 3-4 times in a row. I know medication isn't the "cure-all" answer but I can't let yesterday happen again. I'll do just about anything to make all this stop. As I am told, the attacks themselves though often attached to the events of my life are mainly chemical and once one has started, there's little to nothing, cognitively speaking, that help alleviate the symptoms. Great. But I refuse to admit there's no way through this. Life should be lived to the fullest by your *own* standards. I may not be there yet but this is what I strive for even if I have to fight the world (including myself) to do it.