retsin

refocused and targetted. guns loaded and ready. i stand before a life unwilling to be made history. write it off as temporary, label it all momentary, these days can't all just be. a day to day capture, a caravan of times, a montage of ones twos and threes. numbered pages, and dated entries, everything is what it was. there is no continuity to understanding, little separation between the days, and yet it all seems so hopelessly unwilling to be changed. i know crying is never an answer, i know my collected tears are jarred away yet evaporating, making room for memories of nights i wish erased. i wave a wizards wand, wish myself stronger, whisper a tale and imagine the possibillity. i live in a world of contradiction. smiles mean sadness and tears are cried from truth. lies are built for protection, walls of words meant only to save. i am never innocent, i am hardely ever clean. i make myself wander, i travel to too many peaks. i eat rotten fruit, and squueze everything dry. all around me lie the corpses of the girls i have been. killed for perfection, murdered while seeking some sort of serenity. don't they know she whispers, there is no such thing. (only memory)



..as much as i'm enjoying the discussion i'm involved in i have to take off for the university and study. sucky. however....tim hortons. yum.


no makeup.



and

happy v-day.



come to my show....come, come come!