retrograde

so much has changed... and way too much remains the same.

i'd like to leave soon, and i think I will...

I need to go far, far, far away... away from family, away from friends, away from love.

sometimes i think that I'm running away from myself... but then I realize that some fucking psychological bullshit doesn't explain life as well as some fucking pyschological bullshitters would like to think.

the fact of the matter is that all these people are like a plate of mold (the bad kind, not the enlightened kind ). I can't live in their fucking plate... I can't exist in their fucking lives... they make me feel dead.

...

so anyway, I really hate these online journal things. I think it's a load of crap to post personal things that no one else really understands. then I do it anyways... because I'm not a conformist, but I play one on the internet.