so my mum has come to visit this weekend. i like her, she is great, does everything for me but its nice not living with her (or my bro or my dad) there are many reasons why we leave home. anyway the reason she came to visit was cos her and dad were having a disagreement. they have been traveling together in a caravan for the last 6 months so i think it just got to boiling point after being all up in each others faces for 6 months then coming home and having to start on renovations to the house before they start back at work. so mum comes down to give each other time away. fair enough. so at breakfast this morning she tells me she is sick of dad and the way he talks to her and she isnt happy. fair enough. (i can see both sides of the story here i talk to mum like shit sometimes cos she fucking pisses me off and irritates the shit out of me) anyways she is seeing how it goes when she gets back. if it doesnt improve she wants to leave him. which i guess is a bit of a shock... they always fight & get over it cos mum gets all up in dads space (like she does with me) and he gets short and snappy with her, they just get over it and move on and i guess it always just seemed like they accepted their relationship as it was, i guess settled for it, and were just going to get old together getting drunk every night. im sure they both just need some space for a bit, fuck spending 6 months with someone in a caravan, no matter how much you like each other i am sure you would be over it very soon.
but anyways, she was telling me how she was applying for jobs in the logan and redlands councils, and that if she did move down, would i move back in with her.
maybe i am being selfish, but even tho i said yeah I guess so (what else could i say) I couldnt stand living with her again. I have my own life which many facets of, she would not approve of and now I am an adult, I dont want to have to answer to anyone. I dont want her up in my space, expecting conversations everyday, expecting us to hang out all the time. like I am sure it will be super cruisy for me... no cooking, no cleaning, food provided etc, but do I want to sacrifice my independent life? I am being super selfish... I know, but I like that I can hide out in my room and not have someone sitting on my bed behind me asking me questions all the time. I like that I can go out till 5am with my eyes bulging out of my head and just potter around the place with people who understand or sleep all day and not have someone bugging me about something and I like I dont have to answer to anyone about how I afforded or got something.
I guess I shouldnt get toooooo worried about it just yet. I guess I should be happy for her that she wants to live a happier life, but then that leads to a whole bunch of other things that are upsetting right now.
I dont want to deal with this shit... maybe if i block my ears and go LALALALALALA really loudly it will all go away
I don't think you are being selfish at all. I could never EVER live with my mum again, unless I was about to become homeless or something. The thought of loosing my independence scares me more than the thought of yummy fresh cooked meals, free cleaning etc etc lol.
I mean, if your mum lived in Brisbane, you could always just 'pop in' when you had no food anyway, right?
Cross the bridge when you come to it, don't stress over it yet!
It's terrible that they've been stuck in a caravan together... it'd drive me nuts, too.
I'm just thinking aloud here, but ...
Still, I'd be worried about the whole thing with telling your Mum that you'd live with her if she did separate from your Dad. If she thinks it's going to be as easy as simply moving out with her daughter, she might be less inclined to actually work things out. Now she has an easy escape route.
Frankly, it's your Mum. If you say you'd rather not live with her, and it's the truth, shouldn't she respect that? Isn't anything else just being selfish on her part?
Possibly I'm just being unfairly paranoid, though...