All day I have been thinking about this song. I first heard it back in 1999 i think, after seeing Fat Boy Slim at my first big day out. I never really understood most of the dance music I heard previously, but now I do, 10 years on. I am starting to get all the different references in a whole range of different music. I guess most references I am identifying now with are associated with dance music. Yeah, I talk alot about all this stuff, but meh, it's what I find interesting to me at the moment. What I have written is not me complaining, I am just writing my observations and experiences.
So. The reason for adding the video I guess, is thats how I feel I am living atm. Get things together, clean my room, get all my washing under control, get my head in check, feel good etc just build it all up, then I tear it all down with a huge, messy weekend, then spend the next week putting it all together again. It didnt use to feel so big. I guess with the quality of gear I am forever chasing that high that I used to experience. I guess I am also not getting the stuff that I want. I am not able to get my apples that I love so dearly. lol. So for the last few months I have been using other stuff to get that high, but even tho I do know i wont get the same experience as I would with apples... I am still chasing that... maybe cos I want to escape from my life for a night, maybe I just want to have fun but whatever it is, I need to change my thinking and stop chasing that. Even tho it sucks, I need to accept it in my mind that for a while, I am not going to experience what I want. I am smoking shit, eating out of date prescriptions that aren't even mine, and even resorting to downing a whole bunch of caffeine tablets. Yes, silly, but I am learning from it. i AM learning. I think. It's like kfc, you eat it and go that was horrible I am never eating kfc again, then a couple of months or maybe even weeks later, you forget and get a nasty reminder again. Meh. I dont mind building it all up and then tearing it down again. I love it. It gives me something to do, but what I am doing at the moment it doesn't take me to that happy place. Even if I did take a bunch of apples, I would be able to crash by the next afternoon and maybe even get a bit of sleep here and there and even eat a pizza while coming down. Not with this shit... and I am over it i guess. I love my sleep and I like to eat. So I guess, over the last week, while living in my head, I have made a choice that, if it isnt apples, it isnt for me. (apart from psychedelics and benzos, cos they are completely different) And yes, I know apples arent always what they say they are, and lately have been kinda crappy, but atleast I know my limits and dosage with them, so not to be sick or feel like i am going to die. lol. And I guess with the not spending money on other stuff, I can save for apples so that when I find good ones one day, I can buy lots so I can be happy for a long time. (This is all wishful thinking. But I know this time, no matter how shitty they are, I am not giving shit away anymore). I was told by a dear very experienced friend that you can be nice and generous in life but this is a completely different ball game. this is a dodgy business, and so you have to be tough and dodgy too. I am beginning to realise that the replacement cost is much more than giving things at the price you bought it for or feeling bad cos someone doesnt like something isnt your problem so I am not the one to feel bad, its a risk and the person chooses to do so. Especially when your supplies are limited as well. This probably doesnt make sense to anyone, it does in my head tho. I will be surprised if anyone actually reads this too. I guess everything I experience thru this time is a huge learning curve... learning what situations I like to be around when I am taking stuff, what situations to avoid in future etc. I am sure with all my promises or maybe more resolutions I will still slip up, but I am trying to learn from things.
Can you tell that I have been living in my head the last week? lol.
Anywayz, getting back to building things up again... I have spent the last 2 days cleaning in time for tony and rach's arrival home... it wasnt that bad but I had been very lazy the past week. I have put all my clothes away and everything is clean. I decided to expand my mind in other ways today by visiting South Bank and having a look at the Andy Warhol exhibition. Honestly I only went cos I wanted my photo taken in the booth, but I really enjoyed the whole thing. The quote wall was awesome. I want a quote wall in my house. I also really really liked his Jackie Kennedy works. I wasnt really fussed with the Marilyn ones, probably cos I had seen them before but I really liked all his random portraits... i didnt see who all the people were and i didnt see much of the little things as it was really busy there but its not like I would of read it all anyway. I want to do screen printing like him now. Here is my photo:
It was fun... even tho I lined up for over 45 mins for it. Some people are so impatient. I just wanted to turn around to them and say, look your huffing and puffing and stupid comments isnt going to make it go any faster.
meh.
I then went walking thru everything else, the museum kinda sucked, i thought it would be cool cos they had some dog exhibition but all they had was some sled and a husky and some notice boards of information. I saw a sign for a paradise exhibition but i couldnt find it anywhere. the one main thing i loved about the gold coast was its tackiness and retro/kitsch old feel about some of the dodgier parts. I might go try and find it again some other time. it was too hot to try too much today.
Tomorrow I am going out to Cannon Hill to have a look at my new place of employment. I am starting off on 2 days there, probably increasing to 3. Probably increasing to 5 cos they will try to poach me. sounds weird but dog groomers are in high demand. Luckily Jess is coming with me to check out the store. I am always nervous meeting new people. We are also going to go check out the other shop at Macgregor and a rival shop in Mt Gravatt. ooooh.
Hmmm, what else? I cant really think of much else... other than I really really like so you think you can dance. I voted for Demi, Rhys and Henry. Henry has gotten really cute. Rhys is just awesome and Demi has really changed! She looks awesome. I dont mind the other dude, cant remember his name, he did the disco thing and is Ben Ikins brother. I am upset JD did so badly. That ballet girl who talks like an idiot annoys me. I am sure she is probably a very sweet girl but the way she comes across seems very annoying.
I should go to sleep... why is it that on days when I am off and have nothing to do I cant sleep in and want to do things, yet on days when I need to get up and be active for work I just wanna lie in bed all day. Maybe this splitting up days thing will make my days less boring and make me excited for work again. or not.
ttfn
re*
I don't have much time, I am running really late for work. Eeek. But i just wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with building it all up and then, ripping it down if you plan on building it up again.
I hope everything goes well at Cannon Hill!
As for printing, research the various types (screen, lino, etching) and look for one that you'll enjoy. Lino can be lots of fun, and if you want, you're welcome to come up here and play around with my tools and stuff.
Otherwise, screen printing (although expensive to set-up) is hella fun.
I'm glad you enjoyed the exhibition! I really am. What did you think of the works after his shooting? Did you like the electric chairs?
The quote wall was indeed awesome. I would love one at home as well, but I'm thinking a wall covered in blackboard paint will do the trick. And lots of chalk!
I'm sorry you can't find your lovely apples, but I can only hope that when you find them again, they will be really, really good ones. Also, not giving them away makes perfect sense. It really does. Whoever told you that - about it being dodgy business - is right.
Take care Miss.
P.S. Your picture is awesome!!!
That was a good decision re the OTC stuff....They are so much more dangerous (in combinations) than rec stuff... I'm glad to hear you made that choice
Pet City is awesome.. I used to go there all the time when I worked in the little shops next door to it. There is so much stuff crammed into a little place.. their fish section is soooooo good! There is also another massive pet shop at Capalaba, but that's ages away... Worth checking out if you are in the area though.