resa

I don't even care. I don't have a pot to piss in. I am really worried about paying or not paying my bills on time. I thought I had more money then I do. I ended up making my bank account go into overdrawn. I'm going to close it out because I got hella fees in the amount of $34 for every overdraft. I feel like a duechbag because I don't know how to balance my checkbook. Someone tried to show me once but that person is no longer in my life. I have no friends. I am on the verge of losing my appartment. I don't have a penny to my name to do anything. I don't have a boyfriend. My suicidegirls membership is up in october and I don't have the money to renew it. So once it is up I will be gone guys. I don't know what I am going to do. My car is falling appart at the seams, and it sounds like a motorcycle. I don't have the money to fix it. There is nothing I can do but grin and bear it, and try my best not to let it get to me. I'm worried but I'm not crying or anything. I know that everything happens for a reason, and I am still waiting to find out why certain things in my life have happened, and I am ok. I think I might be finally comming to terms with certain things. I am learning, even though it has been the most difficult lesson of my life to let go. I will however never forget the way I know I felt about anything. I am not going to forget what I think, and feel and know in my heart about anything either. I am going to try to get into this really great filmschool in california once my lease is up I may be moving to LA. I found someone through a mutual friend who is planning on moving out there so I might have a roomate too. I've also been invited to go to new york to stay with my grandparents for a few days, so when January comes along I am going to do that. I am excited about it. I need a huge change in my life, and I am going to make it happen. Everything I do is for me, and will be for me from now on.