resa

I found out some depressing news yesterday. For the next three weeks I will be working 26 hours a week. I am trying to find another job because I don't even think I will even be able to pay for gas on that little amount of money. I am so angry about that. I don't know how I am going to pay my rent or other bills for that matter.

When it rains it pours. Everything has to be shitty when one thing is shitty. I met someone this passed weekend. Someone else I used to have a crush on in highschool. I am not selling myself short though and I think if I settled for him I would be selling myself short. I just want to meet someone who wants to run away with me, and help me forget bad old memories by making new good ones.(but I know I am not ready for this to happen)

I don't want to really be with anyone or meet anyone to even be friends with. I am so damaged. I just want to forget that I think of people I loved and lost. I want to forget them, and it seems like the more I try not to think of them, the more I do. (I know this is a conflict of interest)

If my appartment doesn't work out for me then I might just start saving money to move far far away. I don't care if I don't know anyone when I move either. I just want to get out of ohio. I don't want to be in love anymore.

I'm going to see chrissy get married this weekend. It will be nice to get away for the night to somewhere other than just my sisters house. Although I have slept better here in the two nights I've been here than I have in the past month. I am not sure why but I have troubles staying asleep, and falling asleep for that matter.