resa

ARGH! I'm going to fix my momma's computer. We got spyware everywhere! I hate it! So...I feel weird today, but don't I always. I feel like I'm taken for granted by lots of people, and I'm not sure how to be taken seriously.

I went to dinner and the movies with someone on I guess what you would call a date last night. The person is a very nice guy, but I'm terrified of being close to anyone. I don't want to be vulnerable.

I can't be with someone else if I am thinking about being with someone else...ya know the whole physically I am there but emotionally, and in my heart I just am not thing(or nothing)? I've been doing that for too long, and I refuse to settle being with anyone if they are not in my heart, and I don't care how long it takes...someone will be in my heart again someday...someone new. I can't go back to any of my pervious tenants because there are some things you just cannot take back. I believe it takes alot to move forward in life, and if you keep trying to move backwards, then you are just being a coward. Or lying dormant doing nothing trying to hold on to the past...that doesn't work either. Things never get fixed if you don't look them in the face, and do whatever it takes to make it better...in any situation. It hurts more in the longrun to spend life in denyal, then it does to just be honest with yourself to find your very own happiness.

Today I don't work...and I'm going to make yummy barbequed porkchops for my mom, sister, and my nephew to come over for dinner.

I got garbage tickets!!! I'm so excited about that! I can't wait to go...I have two tickets, and I'm not sure who I will bring with me, but I know whoever it is...will be someone special, because there are only few people who come to mind who would experience seeing them the way that I do. I'm a bit of an obsessed garbage fan! I have loved them, and shirley manson since I was 15 years old, and now I am 24! I'm gonna get going now so I can clean out the spyware.