requium

You ring me at 5am drunk and asking why I left you. I never left you you pushed me away. I'm lost for words and don't tell you why. I see you again and you tell me. Yes you understand now.
I've been trodden on, chewed up and spat out, ground down and beaten into submission. You treated me bad but it was the best anyone had treated me in years. You could make me feel like a man, a child , a dork, an idiot, a good person ,weak and useless or profoundly happy, sometimes more than one of these things at a time.
Why couldn't you give me a part of yourself? Why do you get so scared?
I was lost when I met you, a shell of who I used to be, I was searching for myself again. I hope I did something for you, you did much for me.
I think about you every day, I may frown or I may smile sometimes I cry.
You call me and ask me out. We have fun, the best of friends. I spend the night and we fuck, for the second time since we broke up. You dont return my calls, I don't here from you for a month. I get angry and hurt. I drive an hour and a half to your place and turn up on your doorstep, I make out I was in the area on other business, you make excuses and say nothing is wrong. Then I go.
We speak a bit in the next few weeks, you invite me out with your friends, much fun.
You ask me for help to put your new furniture together. I turn up the next day and you have already done it just like I said you would.
I go out with you and your friends for your birthday, I have to go home straight after dinner. You are suprised and honoured that I came all that way just to see you for a couple of hours for your birthday, we embrace trying to squeeze the life out of each other. We kiss each other on the cheek and embrace again. We love each other, but it is too late.