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requiem1972

Universal City, TX

Member Since 2006

Followers 13 Following 2

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Sunday Feb 12, 2006

Feb 12, 2006
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... I need a dragon ...

I get tired of being me sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, I like me, well most of me. There are some scary parts I have not managed to ... assimilate completely. But I do wonder what being someone else is like.

Would I even know the difference? I would be someone else. I wouldn't have the me memories to reference for comparison.

Maybe it wouldn't be better to be, say, Gwyneth Paltrow or whatzisname, Steve Buscemi, or some random, seemingly well-adjusted person. Then, being them, they'd be wondering what being someone else was like.

The only way to answer the question would never answer it ... not if it was done right.

Maybe re-writing myself would do the trick for sometimes. No. That's just asking for a schism in my psyche ... I have enough issues without purposefully courting multiple personalities or Cocktail Personality Disorder. Meh. I have enough facets of my personality. Adding more is not the answer.

I wish I weren't such a maze to myself sometimes. It's like the hedge maze Conundrum the gnome was trying to map. It was a magical hedge maze; it took those who entered where they needed to go. If they needed to think through a problem, it would let them wander lost until they thought it through, then it would let them out the other side. If they needed quiet contemplation, it would lead them through to the center where a lovely quiet fish pond was.

It led Conundrum around by the ... sock thread. Poor little gnome, constantly unravelling his socks, covered in ink, trying to map the hedge maze EXACTLY. It was his life goal. He thought he had it mapped at the end of each day, would go back and make a perfectly clean, perfectly drawn map of the hedge maze.

Conundrum would go out the next morning to use the map to go through the hedge maze, and end up gnashing his teeth on the map.

The hedge maze changed every day.

Then a dragon came along and burned the hedge maze down while trying to retrieve the Magical Device of Time Journeying from Tasslehoff Burrfoot (THE Tasslehoff Burrfoot) and Palin Majere.

Conundrum was finally able to map the hedge maze. Well, the charred remains of said hedge maze.

Screw understanding "people" or the world around me. My life goal is trying to understand myself. I feel like Conundrum, and I am running out of socks.

I think I need a dragon.

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