requiem

My apartment's a mess, my car is overdue for an oil change, and the cat needs to be brushed, but all the fruit is almost in! We have just under 100 tons to go and the cellar is moving back to a 5-day-a-week schedule. There's still a lot of work to do - almost every lot still needs to be pressed and barreled down and we still need to go through malolactic fermentation, but the worst is over. Now I can return to a somewhat normal life. It will still be 10 or 12 hours of work each day, but now it should be only 5 days a week.

I had a day and a half off last weekend and I managed to squeeze in a trip down to visit the family. Grandma isn't doing so well. She's fine mentally and physically, but she's almost 93 year old. Every week there's one or two days she's sure will be her last. I can't even begin to describe the situation. It's not morbid. It's very sad. It's not frightening. It's determined. Every time I see Grandma I know it could be the last time. I'm going to be heartbroken when she finally "checks out" - even now she's one of the few people who understands me and gets my sense of humor. I'll be heartbroken but I will also in a way be happy for her. Her body is failing and she can feel herself slipping away. But that still doesn't accurately describe what she's going through. She's somewhat mobile, completely lucid and communicative, but it is still so evident that she is failing. It's almost like someone falling out of an airplane but maintaining proper posture during the duration of the fall.

So that's been my life the past couple of months. Lots of work and some intense family stuff. I have to say, however, that I must have the best family in the world. Even though I come from a broken home and have stepparents and the whole bit, they are all integrated into an extensive, amicable, reasonable, caring, and loving family. I don't always agree with all of them, but they always mean well.

Sorry to those of you with whom I have lapsed in communication. I've thought about you but just haven't had the time to sit down and pound on the keyboard...