Tonight I took a walk through my old neighborhood. I had lived in few houses in the area over the past ten years. I've lived in quite few other places during that time as well, but it's kinda felt like home to me for a while now. I felt a kinda emptiness reach up inside my chest when I found one of the old houses gone. They tore it down, and now it was now just an empty space. I had transformed the basement of that house into
my bedroom when I was thirteen years old. My friends and I used to build homemade drumsets down there and would try starting bands. One day Amaro and I bought some shitty grass from my neighbor Jimmy. Jimmy was one of the first black people I ever really talked to. He was my age and his dad was in prison for dealing coke. He was nice enough, not dangerous or anything, but he never really seemed very trustworthy. We smoked out of a chair leg that we drilled into a pipe. Later we broke out the lighter
fluid and started having fun. Amaro filled a glass beer stein with lighter fluid, set it on fire and pretended to drink it. It was pouring all over the concrete floor before some caught his shirt and set him on fire. He slapped out the flames before it did any serious damage. I found out a few months later that Jimmy had been fingering my sister while we were getting stoned and stupid with fire in the basement. Finding the old house missing reminded me of the house I used to live in on Elm. It was small and green, and my uncle Vin used to live there with us. It was also gone. It was turned into a parking lot for a lumber company shortly after we moved. I was only about five years old when we did live there. I can't remember much about the place. Most of what I can I've gathered from pictures. What sticks out in my head the most is a fuzzy image of a young girl pissing in my mouth. Don't really know what it means. It's baffled me for as long as I've known it was strange. As I walked on I saw another house missing. It was Twik's old place on Chicago. I could remember going there to buy coke before he started doing the big couch tour. Before that rush of memories ceased I was confronted with another place levelled into a small patch of grass. I could remember breaking into the place drunk one night wearing a flimsy plastic halloween mask. I went into the kitchen and opened up the fridge looking for beer. I could hear
muffled panting coming from nearby. The closet door was half open and I could see the faint outline of a pair of bodies undulating under the covers. I reached into the fridge, picked out a half empty case of Millwaukee's Best and walked out. I had been in a few times before and after that. Nothing too exciting ever happened, but considering the tenants, and what
went down shortly after, I consider it a blessing. Only two houses down from that was one of the first places I lived after graduating from high school. I was seventeen years old than and living with two women. They were crazy and beautiful. I'd fucked the scarier of the two a couple of times the year before. She brought me home from Choices, the local gay dance
club. It was my first time there. I was sixteen years old, drunk on her beer, and totally hypnotized by the Nausea patch on her ass. In retrospect it was a horrible move. I was lucky my dick didn't fall off. She once chased my friend Charlie around our apartment bare ass naked trying to pin him down and fuck him. It wasn't too out the ordinary for her. I asked her "Hey Nicky, you ever heard of the word 'rape' before?" She shot back quick "What the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?" without missing a step. I spent the longest six months of my life in that house. Now all the siding was gone. I walked up close and saw light shining through the cracks between the boards. The house was totally empty. Some of the windows were boarded up. It was fading away. All of my memories were disintigrating... Like the first house I ever lived in, up in Crandon, when I was first born. It was torn down when I was about seven or eight. Sometimes, when the place was still standing, my dad would drive past it and tell me stories about what it was like when we lived there. Now it was just an empty grass lot. I see less and less every time I look back. I'm tarting to think that maybe my memory is transposing reality.
my bedroom when I was thirteen years old. My friends and I used to build homemade drumsets down there and would try starting bands. One day Amaro and I bought some shitty grass from my neighbor Jimmy. Jimmy was one of the first black people I ever really talked to. He was my age and his dad was in prison for dealing coke. He was nice enough, not dangerous or anything, but he never really seemed very trustworthy. We smoked out of a chair leg that we drilled into a pipe. Later we broke out the lighter
fluid and started having fun. Amaro filled a glass beer stein with lighter fluid, set it on fire and pretended to drink it. It was pouring all over the concrete floor before some caught his shirt and set him on fire. He slapped out the flames before it did any serious damage. I found out a few months later that Jimmy had been fingering my sister while we were getting stoned and stupid with fire in the basement. Finding the old house missing reminded me of the house I used to live in on Elm. It was small and green, and my uncle Vin used to live there with us. It was also gone. It was turned into a parking lot for a lumber company shortly after we moved. I was only about five years old when we did live there. I can't remember much about the place. Most of what I can I've gathered from pictures. What sticks out in my head the most is a fuzzy image of a young girl pissing in my mouth. Don't really know what it means. It's baffled me for as long as I've known it was strange. As I walked on I saw another house missing. It was Twik's old place on Chicago. I could remember going there to buy coke before he started doing the big couch tour. Before that rush of memories ceased I was confronted with another place levelled into a small patch of grass. I could remember breaking into the place drunk one night wearing a flimsy plastic halloween mask. I went into the kitchen and opened up the fridge looking for beer. I could hear
muffled panting coming from nearby. The closet door was half open and I could see the faint outline of a pair of bodies undulating under the covers. I reached into the fridge, picked out a half empty case of Millwaukee's Best and walked out. I had been in a few times before and after that. Nothing too exciting ever happened, but considering the tenants, and what
went down shortly after, I consider it a blessing. Only two houses down from that was one of the first places I lived after graduating from high school. I was seventeen years old than and living with two women. They were crazy and beautiful. I'd fucked the scarier of the two a couple of times the year before. She brought me home from Choices, the local gay dance
club. It was my first time there. I was sixteen years old, drunk on her beer, and totally hypnotized by the Nausea patch on her ass. In retrospect it was a horrible move. I was lucky my dick didn't fall off. She once chased my friend Charlie around our apartment bare ass naked trying to pin him down and fuck him. It wasn't too out the ordinary for her. I asked her "Hey Nicky, you ever heard of the word 'rape' before?" She shot back quick "What the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?" without missing a step. I spent the longest six months of my life in that house. Now all the siding was gone. I walked up close and saw light shining through the cracks between the boards. The house was totally empty. Some of the windows were boarded up. It was fading away. All of my memories were disintigrating... Like the first house I ever lived in, up in Crandon, when I was first born. It was torn down when I was about seven or eight. Sometimes, when the place was still standing, my dad would drive past it and tell me stories about what it was like when we lived there. Now it was just an empty grass lot. I see less and less every time I look back. I'm tarting to think that maybe my memory is transposing reality.
Give me a hint?