rephrased

Hey. So I'm in Maine, visiting the family. My dad just inherited a bunch of money from his father, who died a year ago.

Crazy stupid thing my dad's done with his money: Bought a new big-ass truck and took it to a decal place to get a big flaming 8-ball on the hood. Also, got flame decals put all over it. Also bought seat covers, visor covers, a steering wheel cover, floor mats, fuzzy dice, and an air freshener, all black with flames all over them. Then bought a cap for the truck, stretched green felt over the top of it, and attached the other 14 pool balls to it. I need to get a digital picture so you people can see this ridiculous display of redneck bourgeois culture.

Crazy awesome thing my dad did lately: Asked me, "So, do you like your job?" I said, "No, it sucks." He said, "Oh? What would you do if money didn't matter?" I said, "Probably call that guy I used to know in the promotions department at Matador Records and take the internship he offered me when I graduated." He said, "Why didn't you take it then?" I said, "Because I had no money, and it was an unpaid internship in New York. I had no way to pay the rent." He said, "You should call him and try to set it up. I would see to it that... some anonymous benefactor... paid your rent for a year." If this happens, he will be the coolest (though still the strangest) dad ever.