rephrased

I now proudly present: the first of many drunken entries! I went to see Dreesy Bessy tonight. They were fuckin cool, but something happened to me in the middle of the Helicopter Helicopter set. I was wandering about the bar, and I saw this girl wearing a col skirt and red thigh high tights. And she looked amazing and I sorta followed her to the back room where she was playing pool. And then I realized she was with this guy, who looked like kind of a loser. And then I realized it. I don't just look like a loser, I am a loser. I mean, I love indie music, and it's my life, but I work in a fucking bank. I make great fucking money and I hate it. I hate everything I am. I wear a fucking $90 watch and fucking Eddie Bauer jeans. I am such a fucking yuppie. I wanted to go outside and fucking shoot myself, but I don't own a gun. I am so fucking unhapppy. I want to be a musician, but frankly I suck at it. I went outisde to call my sister and I was standing next to a poster for a band whose CD was called, "The Problem With Success or How to Find Your Place in the World" and I broke out laughing with the sheer irony. I hate my life and everything it stands for. I mean my life is so fucking in order and makes so much sense, but I don;'t know where I'm headed, and I haven't had sex with, kissed, or held hands with a woman in four years. I'm only fucking 23! Where is the idealistic,fucking world changing rebel that I want to be! Where is my danger? Where is my ability to fuck shit up? God, I'm such a fucking pathetic mass. On the train on the way home, my roommate told me he thought I was clinically depressed. I punched him and when we got home went to my room and put on some Arab Strap on repeat. I think this may be a cry for help.
Sincerely,
Drunk Asshole Sam

3:47
Ugh. Sobering up is hard. But on the upside, I had a nice long chat with Synnove. She's so cool. Life aint so bad as I made it sound before. Just, y'know, everything's eiither way better or way worse when you're drunk. I was having a way worse day. Anyways, my head is starting to feel like the inside of a snare drum. Time to go sleep it off. So much for my plans about getting a new amp tomorrow. I think it would make my brain implode. G'night.