repairmanc

I don't know what is worse, getting hurt by someone you thought loved you, or not being able to be with a person you know loves you.
Life is so upside down. Every person has that one girl or guy that you never try for....that you always dreamed of...the one that you know can undo you.
Well what if it turns out that that dream maker really did feel the same way, what if they really did want you as you wanted them? But what if also that one person looked for you, searched for you.....thought about you before bed......but finally gave up on having you......and moved on....
Just to be thrust back into your life at present...to tell you now she loves you.....to tell you now that she always did....but there is one problem....shes now married.
Thats my llife right now. The one person I always dreamed of...always held in the back of my heart...actually does love me.....said if only I had acted sooner she would have been mine.....God must hate me.
I have never been so torn in my whole life....between heavan and hell. To have her in my life...wanting me as a friend....but to also have her tell me that she feels the same way.......I want to die.

I have never felt so at one with a person in my life...I have never been adored as I am with her....we were at a resturant together....for the first time in 8 years....yet the whole place could see the glow of both of us...we were at the center of everyones attention.....the all saw it.......they all saw true love..and we attracted them like moths to a flame.....our flame..

But yet all we can be is friends.....what a cruel trick of fate.....Im bieing shown what could have been and Im powerless to do anything about it.

I know there is one person out there reading this feeling the same way.....have the fucking guts to message me back.....fucking live.....life is short....live, love...or die trying.

Josh