renegadefuzz

there are some times that I find
myself thinking of him. Sitting
on the porch, the heat of my
drink caressing my face, staring at
the cracks in the concrete. Slowly,
smoke from the cigarette drifts
towards the sky, a lit ash falls
lazily to the ground, and I
wonder. The blue paint is chipping
off of the old worn wood beneath
my feet. What...
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my day has been long.

my day has been hard.

but I feel like a good person today. I did a lot of volunteer hours, and I donated blood as well. I feel like I get my good person bonus points today. I saved three lives! yay!

***

the sky is blue
and blood is red
and random words spill
out of my head

the...
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yeah... my life is about fan-fricken-tastic right now.

yeah.. did I mention I'm happy?

I know this doesn't happen too often, but life is the way it is. I went to a bar tonight (btw.. I'm back in madison area pretending I'm a local...) and a good number of people came up to me acting as if they really remembered me.

I felt amused.

either...
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I'm so stealing this from Graycen...

Wearing: the same clothes I wore yesterday, with a few minor changes... a black hoodie, a black tank, dark denim jeans, a red bra with with polka dots, matching cheeky undies (Yes Gray, I like to match too!!)
Drinking: PBR... aaaah... to be a 'sconnie in college
Feeling: a little crabby, but with a healthy glow
Thinking: about...
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I'm no Barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
I've done ugly things
And I have made mistakes
And I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed
So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?
Nothing ever smells of roses that rises out of mud

Why do you...
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I == proud of me.

I so desperately wanted to sit down and unwind with a drink tonight after a long and stressful day. But you know what? I didn't. Instead I ate a lean cuisine and had a delicious glass of iced tea. Go me!

I also might have gotten myself into a rather pimp volunteering thingy. Tonight we worked the the EMT class...
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SNOW DAY!!!!


no classes today... campus is closed.

Time to go make a snowman!

eh... I'm not confused... actually I'm rather well centered right now. There are some things that I might question, but I'm not really sure I would do that right now anyway. I'm just living and enjoying my life. Actually spending time away from a damn computer and cutting my wires, so to speak. So yeah... Plus, I'm finding that people actually provide a lot of...
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I'm sorry it's been a while.

I guess life doesn't seem so lonely anymore...

so I've started to wonder. I know I don't have any tattoos, but sometimes I really damn well wonder if my forehead has the word "sucker" tattooed on it. Either that or "naive" or "goodnatured" or "gullible". Why does it seem that I always am the type who is used and abused? BY MY FRIENDS! Or my alleged friends. Oh wait.. that's right, I can't...
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