Things I've learned during the last 3 months on crutches....
- Riding around on those power scooters in the grocery store is as fun as it seems.
- People always want to wait for you to prove that they're being tolerant, even though it would be quicker if they just kept moving the fuck outta the way. Stopping for crutches is like bottle-necking at traffic accidents... I'm expecting you to keep moving, not stop to admire my shiny brace.
- People who text really do not pay attention to where they're walking.
- Chairs during wine tastings... FTW.
- Mentioning the word "crutches" is the fastest way to win any customer service argument over the phone.
- Don't feel fat when you want to eat all the time... You're burning more calories crutching than walking. (Seriously kids.. another 15 lbs.)
- You never have to do your own laundry, as carrying baskets of clothes to the basement with crutches is nearly impossible.
- People who move your crutches away from you are the Devil. They become your companion cube. They love you. You love them. Separation is difficult.
- Vintage elevators look really cool, but the heavy door covering the elevator is a pain in the ass.
- Friends who live on the 5th floor with a broken elevator no longer expect house calls.
- Car rides are AWESOME.
- Crutches function for the perfect chin rest while sitting on a bar-stool when sleepy.
- Also, always getting a seat in the bar is awesome.
- Best costume idea: Silver back gorilla... complete with "gorilla arms" going all the way down the front of the crutches, ending with curled knuckles on the floor.
- Riding around on those power scooters in the grocery store is as fun as it seems.
- People always want to wait for you to prove that they're being tolerant, even though it would be quicker if they just kept moving the fuck outta the way. Stopping for crutches is like bottle-necking at traffic accidents... I'm expecting you to keep moving, not stop to admire my shiny brace.
- People who text really do not pay attention to where they're walking.
- Chairs during wine tastings... FTW.
- Mentioning the word "crutches" is the fastest way to win any customer service argument over the phone.
- Don't feel fat when you want to eat all the time... You're burning more calories crutching than walking. (Seriously kids.. another 15 lbs.)
- You never have to do your own laundry, as carrying baskets of clothes to the basement with crutches is nearly impossible.
- People who move your crutches away from you are the Devil. They become your companion cube. They love you. You love them. Separation is difficult.
- Vintage elevators look really cool, but the heavy door covering the elevator is a pain in the ass.
- Friends who live on the 5th floor with a broken elevator no longer expect house calls.
- Car rides are AWESOME.
- Crutches function for the perfect chin rest while sitting on a bar-stool when sleepy.
- Also, always getting a seat in the bar is awesome.
- Best costume idea: Silver back gorilla... complete with "gorilla arms" going all the way down the front of the crutches, ending with curled knuckles on the floor.
jomni:
OMG Gorilla crutches sound like an awesome Halloween idea. 
renegadefuzz:
Yeah.. at first the idea was an homage of "Saved!" by wearing a lace up corset with a big silk ribbon on the front and a wheelchair and call myself a roller skate... but the construction possibilities and awesome-ness of the gorilla would be amazing. Unfortunately, I feel I would die by the end of the night. The wheelchair would definitely make it easier to get home at the end of the night... lol.